These Roasts Will Surely Come In Handy On Christmas Day
There is nothing more traditional than sitting down with your family on Christmas Day and have everyone attack you.
This year it’s your time to roast your family back – here are the 9 best family lunch roasts and don’t worry you can take credit for them:
1. I’m fully vaccinated but still will not sit next to you – to the family member who hogs all food within reach.
2. Sorry I can’t think of an insult dumb enough for you to understand – to the cousin who keeps annoying you and staying stupid things.
3. You are as useless as the ‘ay’ in ‘okay’ – to the youngest sibling who never clears away their own plate.
4. How’s the divorce going? – to the aunt who keeps asking if you have a boyfriend yet.
5. If I had a dollar every time you shut up, I would give it back as a thank you – to the uncle who won’t stop bringing up politics.
6. I’m not an astronomer, but I’m pretty sure the Earth revolves around the sun… not you – to the spoiled cousin who won’t stop bragging about his 20 Christmas gifts.
7. You haven’t changed since the last time I saw you, you really should – to the uncle with really bad alcohol breath.
8. You can’t drink when you’re pregnant – as a reply to the aunt saying that she didn’t drink when she was 17.
9. I didn’t mean to offend you… but it was a huge plus – to the cousin with attitude who is now crying due to being told so.
Hope these jokes will help you deal with your family on Christmas Day!
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What roasts will you be using during your family Christmas dinner?
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