It’s awfully hard to keep to your diet regime in Malta, what with all the delicious bars and restaurants around. If you’re trying to reserve your indulgences for a strategically-planned Cheat Day, here are 13 great places to start.
1. BosSteaks‘ 12-patty monsters
Originally a four-patty “BosSize” challenge, this behemoth in a bun can be doubled or tripled at this Marsaskala joint… you know, just in case you were in the mood for about two kilos of beef.
2. JAR‘s dessert explosion
If you’re going to go for a ridiculously over-the-top meal, there’s only one type of follow-up that deserves the part; all the delicious dessert in the world, stuffed in a huge jar.
3. The Trees‘ one kilo pork-and-chicken schnitzel
YouTube ‘eating champion’ Randy Santel visited the popular medieval-themed Sliema restaurant a couple of months ago to take on their huge ftira challenge for himself. He had managed to finish the whole thing in just under 25 minutes (beating the national record by nearly 10 whole minutes), but how will you fare?
4. Fat Louie’s menu… all of it
From mouthwatering mac and cheese to a whole chicken with a can of Cisk stuffed inside it, it’s difficult to choose one single item from FL’s menu. If we were hard-pressed for an answer, though, we’d probably go for their entire kilo of brisket, coming soon to a beloved St. Julian’s eatery near you.
5. Domino’s Burger Pizza
No, that wasn’t a typo. Domino’s hasn’t even been open in Malta for a whole month, but it’s already setting impressive records. You can’t go wrong with a classic pepperoni, but if you want to go that extra mile on your cheat day, try the Burger Pizza; it actually tastes like both a burger and a pizza.
6. Chick King‘s fried chicken
As classic as cheat days get. Chick King is a powerhouse of fried chicken in Malta, but if you’re not a big fan, you can always try out all the competition out there. Hey, try them all out on the same day, for that extra special cheat day.
7. Beer Kitchen‘s BBQ Pork Ribs
In this SkyParks eatery’s own words, “we cook and we sell beer – good food and top beers”. This is another one of those restaurants where you’ll be spoilt for choice, but if you really are stuck, go for the pork ribs. Just look at those babies.
8. Charles Bar‘s The Muscle
Triple beef. Waffle. Jalapeño. Cheese. We’re pretty sure we don’t need to say anything else.
If The Muscle doesn’t seem like your cup of tea, you might want to try out their Doritos Burger, which is an actual thing that exists.
9. A goodie bag from Miss Ellen’s Travelling Treats
Get ready to have your childhood sweet dreams come true. You could try to choose a packet or two, but who are we kidding? Just fill up a goodie bag full of candy instead!
10. The Mad Hatter‘s hangover cure
A full English Breakfast is one of the best ways to treat a hangover. The folks at The Mad Hatter understand this… and raise that by a couple of huge burgers, for good measure.
11. Hungry Cow‘s Sweet Pizza
Hungry Cow shot to fame thanks to their indulgent burgers and hot dogs. They recently took things up a notch (or ten) with this Nutella and M&Ms pizza, which is probably what cheat day dreams are made of.
12. Sofra at 3am
We’ve all craved that cheeky kebab after a long night out, and Sofra’s here to help. Showing up from Buġibba to Żebbug (and everywhere in between), this place needs to be on your radar, especially for those early morning hours where everywhere else would be closed. Unless…
13. Serkin at literally any time of the day
Rabat’s Crystal Palace pastizzeria is as legendary as Maltese eateries get. Decades later and now under new management, Serkin doesn’t look like it’s going anywhere. Their practically 24-hour opening time means this isn’t just the perfect place to go at five in the morning after a heavy night out. It’s always time for Serkin.