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Welcome To Egg Porn: ‘The Maltese Yolk Slut’ Will Satisfy All Your Secret Cravings… And Then Some

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Ever found yourself looking at an egg dripping with yolk and getting slightly turned on? If you just grinned and nodded, then I’ve got good news. If you just angrily and disgustingly frowned because you don’t want anyone knowing about your sick egg fantasies, I’ve still got good news. Just maybe hide your phone for a second though.

Perfect for everyone craving that extra bit of cheekiness to their foodie Insta shots, say hello to The Maltese Yolk Slut.

This page right here? Oh, it’s something else.

The photos and submissions the page has are great and all, showing eggs of all shapes and sizes, cooked every way, dripping yolk on everything from avocados to pieces of toast.

But it’s the captions that we’re all here for.

You know, like a casual bowl of three cracked eggs with the caption, “When he asks for a third but what you really want is for it just to be the two of you”, with #threeway and #yolkporn thrown in there for extra measure.

Wipe that silly grin off your face; we’re going on a juicy ride (and that’s without even looking at the even more explicit Instagram stories).

“When was the last time you were left dripping?”

 

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“Double tap if you like it RAW ????”

 

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The Maltese Yolk Slut (still can’t believe that’s the official name but living for it every single time) kicked things off with a bunch of naughty uploads back in July 2019, but had gone on hiatus by August. Now, it’s back with a bang.

Back with a bang indeed.

So after things went dark in early August 2019, the self-professed Yolk Slut returned on Instagram amidst this (sexually) frustrating, self-isolating period we’re all going through.

And it sure looks like the page hit the right spot; within the first four days of its return, there was one post every single day, all as sensual as the OG posts.

And seeing as we’re all here for the captions (and those dirty, dirty photos, of course), here are the Yolk Slut’s first four uploads from its glorious 2020 return.

“Reminiscing on all those times he made it drip” (now I’m blushing)

 

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“When they smash it, lay you on it and burst you open” #Rude

 

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“Always use protection” (because there’s always time to raise awareness)

 

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Always use protection

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And finally, the icing on the cake (or the yolk on the bread?):

“When you’ve had no action in weeks (thanks corona) and will imminently explode the moment anyone touches you.”

Can I get an Amen?

 

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When you’ve had no action in weeks (thanks corona) and will imminently explode the moment anyone touches you

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Tag the biggest yolk slut you know

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