Are you tight for cash? Been there, done that, got the T-shirt, then sold it on Maltapark for a pittance. Here are 10 things to do in Malta when there’s too much month left at the end of your paycheck.
1. Chill out at your local zuntier (church
There’s that big open space in front of your local church which is going to waste in the evenings – take advantage of strong religious Maltese sentiment and use it to hang out with your friends. You can finally tell your parents you’re going to church and not be lying about it!
2. Pretend You’re Daenerys Targaryen
Yes, you know the scene I’m talking about. There’s Dwejra in the background and Khal Drogo, as surly as ever, sitting right next to Daenerys. And let’s not kid ourselves, man or woman, who doesn’t want to be Khaleesi, mother of dragons, and a general boss ass bitch?
3. Pick some bajtar (prickly pears) in Gozo
Hear me out. You cut up some cereal boxes, or you bring along your thickest gardening gloves, you find a nice non-privately owned area (seriously, make sure it’s not private) and pick some prickly pears. You get a sense of satisfaction out of tearing them off, plus you also get free food out of it.
4. Go jelly-fishing
Do Malta a public service, grab your nets, and go catch a few jelly-fish. It kills time, it’s immersive, it’s educational, and it’s philanthropic. It even helps you get a nice tan. What more could you need?
5. Crash a wedding
Summer = weddings = free alcohol and food. To skirt around that monetary gift you need to give at weddings you’re actually invited to in fear of offending someone, try crashing a few to keep the status quo and your pockets happy.
6. Rave in a Cave
If you’re low on cash and can’t go to Paceville, just organise your own BYOB silent rave at a cave somewhere, like the one in Slugs Bay. It’s secluded and panoramic, perfect for getting żibel. But if you don’t particularly like that cave, Mellieħa in general is littered with many others to choose from.
7. Watch some birds at San Anton Gardens
My knowledge of birds goes as far as għasfur tal-bejt and some other basic Maltese species, so I think heading over to San Anton and doing some bird-watching would be interesting and maybe even educational. If that fails, at least they have pretty colours right?
8. Hunt down your own authentic bebbux (snails) supper
Traditional Maltese cuisine is a booming business. To get in touch with your roots without having to pay for it, go for a trip to the countryside and pick out your very own authentic bebbux. Ideal conditions: just after rainfall when they’re least expecting it.
9. Skinny dip in Wied il-Għasri
Getting down to Wied il-Għasri can be a bit tricky. But once you’re there, you can skinny dip to your heart’s delight without fear of being seen or caught. Don’t forget to take lights with you though, it can get pretty dark.
10. Stargaze at Dingli
Drive up to the top of the Dingli cliffs, sit in your car looking up at the night sky, and let the existential thoughts flow. Food and drink optional.