Over the years Malta has seen an increase in igaming, English teaching, graphic design and digital marketing vacancies. Even though these may seem like ‘out of the box’ employment options for those who work nine to five jobs, the 2000s usher in an era of extra-entrepreneurial startups.
While it’s always great to see new creative ideas taking the island by storm, it’s funny (and a little tragic) to note that for every time a trailblazer made it, 50 mimics would follow. Here are seven jobs your Facebook feed is tired of hearing about.
1. Yoga Guru
It’s no longer necessary to go to India in search of achieving higher-consciousness. Yoga classes and retreats seem to have multiplied here in the past few years. Which is by no means a bad thing – Lord knows we could do with a few more relaxed people in this country.
Maltese yoga gurus are likely to be playing a game of solo Twister on their yoga mat at Surfside on their cover pic. #AjmaDahriNoMo’
Issa tellaw saqajkom fl-arja bħall-wirdien!
Photography course my buttocks. Apparently all you need to add ‘photographer’ to your LinkedIn profile is a digital camera and a few Instagram filters and you’re good to go.
3. Gym Instructor
Not to be confused with the yoga guru – this one is less about embracing your inner divinity and more about sculpting your outer Vin Diesel.
With the growth in Instagram popularity came an increase in demand for gym instructors and personal trainers. Which in turn, naturally, has resulted in a flood of gym selfies and broccoli-oatmeal pics.
4. Fashion Blogger
It’s good to follow someone who’s keeping up with all the beauty trends and fashion tricks to hide (or accentuate) your fat ass. But if you take a quick tour of your Facebook friends and their friends, you’ll soon realise you’re friends with an abundance of fashion bloggers.
Their cover pic likely shows them sitting down all pensive at a fashion show, finger on chin and all.
5. (Self-Proclaimed) Model
No matter your age, height, body shape or size, everyone can be a model in Malta. Who cares whether you are the one paying or being paid for your photo shoot, right?
As long as you’ve got a few followers (mainly cousins and neighbours) commenting ‘Illa x’mudella għandna ħej! Nice pic swt xx‘ then you have earned the right to the honorary title of ‘model’ and list it under your job description. #HatersGonHate
‘Ijwa daħħal naqa żaqqek qisek Gary tal-hotdogs!’
You’re not really a DJ if you don’t have at least one profile or cover pic behind the DJ stand (whether you’re the one doing the DJing or not), preferably with one finger pointing up into the air as the beats take over your very being.
7. Events Organiser
There are the average person events, then there are the ‘high society’ ones. Feel superior for a few hours of the month and mingle with champagne-drinking, cigar-smoking, ‘qoh qoh qoh‘ laughers. After all, you are who you surround yourself with, and life is too short to share oxygen with people who don’t own yachts. #Peasants