Winter is coming. Well not really, autumn is – but we all know that doesn’t exist in Malta. And before we start complaining about the rain, let’s take a look back and remember how much we also complained about the heat.
1. No more coexisting with cockroaches!
We’ve previously discussed all the emotions that go along with encountering a cockroach, but as winter approaches we deal with them less and less. And there is nobody on the island who thinks that’s not amazing news.
It’s about time too, little shits don’t even pay rent.
2. No more ‘FULL UP!’ buses!
If you are tired of having to shove people into the street to get a place on the bus only to find yourself directly under someone’s armpit once on, you’ll be glad for the end of (too many) tourist season.
3. No more mosquitoes!
Rejoice! We’re finally approaching a time where you don’t spend most of your nights swatting the air, hoping to stop the incessant buzzing ruining every evening out.
4. No more fireworks!
Is that a bomb?! ISIS IS HERE! Survival instincts kick in and you dive under the nearest table, knocking over a few figurini. Your cat Road-Runner-sprints out of the room flies under the bed. While you’re still shaking, you hear trumpets and suddenly you remember – it’s the festa ta’ San Whatshisface.
5. No more shitty hotel-rooftop singing
Anyone who lives in a tourist hot-spot will know the pain of hearing ‘I did it my way‘ 32 times on any given Thursday evening.
6. No more broken internal thermostats
It’s too hot for trousers, but the evening breeze makes you feel cold when you wear shorts. You can’t cover because the night is too warm, but you can’t stay uncovered because then your legs will be out and the monsters can grab you. There’s just no winning in this heat.
7. No more Maltese baywatch
We’ll still have to endure the endless gym selfies thrown at us over facebook, but at least we can ‘unfollow’ the perpetrators. There’s no ‘unfollow’ button on people at the beach.
8. No more five-weddings-a-week
You can finally spend time doing what you want, and after that never-ending wedding season what you want is probably a quiet night in. Plus, think of all the money you’re not gonna be throwing at happy couples anymore.