So you’ve decided to relocate to one of the oldest and most buzzing capital cities of the world. Like many of the Maltese who move there, you were charmed by the endless attractions and opportunities, so much so that you’ve taken that risky but rewarding leap away from our cosy little island to London.
Only now, you’re faced with an unexpected problem. You suddenly discover that the friends and family you’ve left behind in Malta have opinions, concerns and questions. Lots of them. Ones that they will not hesitate to share with you over and over again.
Opinions, concerns and questions, like…
1. “But is it safe?”
Ever heard the one about how you’re more likely to die in a car accident than you are on the plane? Think about that the next time you contemplate asking that question to a fellow Maltese person en route to their indefinite stay in London.
2. “But it’s so expensive!”
Yeah, we get it. Living in London isn’t cheap. But the same could be said for opting to live in any other capital city of the world. Not to mention that the average wage is generally much higher than what we’re used to.
Bonus: “But with all the money you spend on rent, you could buy another car…”
3. “Maaa, how can you survive without a car?”
It’s called a functioning public transport system. But we won’t blame you for not believing such a thing could possibly exist.
4. “Aren’t you worried about all the Muslims?”
Ah, some classic Maltese racism — how we’ve missed ye! Actually no, never mind. Back in your hole, Mr & Mrs Bigot.
5. “The food’s shit though, aye?”
Look, we all know nanna’s imqarrun is the best thing in the world, and that Malta is experiencing a mini-food revolution on its own that’s worth paying some attention to. And yes, we’re all familiar with the adage that the Brits can’t cook for shit.
But we’re talking specifically about London here — London, a multicultural intersection point where people from all over the world take a shot at establishing themselves as best they can. This tends to translate into yummy global cuisine around pretty much any street corner.
6. “My god, you’re so white!”
…sometimes followed by “where do you swim in London?” Okay, London isn’t exactly a beach location. But that’s not what you sign up for anyway, so concern over the lack of a tan is both redundant and just a little bit stupid.
7. “My best friend/brother/cousin lives in England… do you know them?”
I suppose you could, at a stretch, say that the United Kingdom is an island. Specifically, at a stretch of about 243,610 km2 to Malta’s 316. So assuming that everybody knows everybody in the UK much in the same way as they do in Malta will out you as being at least just a little bit geographically challenged.
8. “When are you coming back?”
Look, we can appreciate that this question is often posed by friends and relatives who miss their London-bound loved ones very much. But it’s good to remember that they’ve moved away from here for a reason, and reminding them of just how nagging and claustrophobic this island can get won’t really help matters along.