We’ve all been there before – you’ve agreed to a date and suddenly, you just don’t feel like going. Whether it’s cold feet, or the desire to get back to your Netflix binge, you need a good excuse that leaves no room for negotiation on their end.
I’m really sorry I’m not going to make it because…
1. I still haven’t gotten over the new building plans in Sliema so I need to be alone right now
High rise heartache is a thing, ok?
2. I went swimming and now I’m trapped, texting you from inside a slime bubble
But please don’t send help, that’ll just make things awkward.
3. It turns out that we’re related
I’m sorry, but uncle Ġuzi is related to the two of us and I cannot take the thought of a joint family wedding.
4. I’m waiting for the baby turtles to be born and I don’t want to miss the exact moment they hatch
I’m sorry but it’s my environmental duty to remain here. Sorry you can’t join cause more footsteps will just upset them.
5. My mum asked me if I was hungry and now I’m stuck under a mountain of food
Maltese mothers and their portioning issues aye!
6. I’m taking my Nanna to church
Everyone knows they’d ditch anything in the world if their nanna asked for some company.
7. My friend has a brother, who knows your friend’s friend, who knows you, and they said you’re a little weird
Too harsh? Perhaps. Possibly the truth? Exceptionally likely.
8. I need to go shopping for desserts and I don’t want them to run out of watermelon
If you thought calling someone weird was bad, imagine being ditched for a non-dessert. Save this one for the slimiest of dates that need ditching.