Malta has a reputation for being a hospitable, friendly nation, but wherever that stereotype came from, it seems to be long gone.
P’s and Q’s have become a thing of the past. Within an hour of landing in Malta, you will have experienced at least one of the following:
I’m sorry, is that even a complete question? ‘Yesss?’ – The unfortunately popular Maltese version of ‘How may I help you?’
Your change is slammed on the counter followed by a loud, unenthusiastic ‘Next!’ Oh right lol, thought you said ‘Thank you very much’ for a second there. Silly me.
4. Jumping The Queue
Nothing makes blood boil more than a nonchalant queue-jumping asshole.
Speaking to women as though they’re cats is probably the reason you never seem to get far with them.
6. Driving Etiquette
You know, that prick who decided he wanted pastizzi and stopped right in front of the shop, blocking other cars from passing in doing so. That twat who suddenly entered a side street without indicating, almost causing a collision. What’s worse than coming across a muntun while driving? The muntun getting angry at you for getting angry when they’re the one in the wrong!
So after you’ve had to search the restaurant yourself to get a menu, someone finally arrives to take your order. And all you get is an expectant nod.
You step off the pavement to make way for a pushchair – pushing mother and don’t even get a hint of acknowledgment.
9. The Ghost Treatment
Being totally ignored by sales assistants when you walk into a shop and even worse, when you go to pay because they have better things to do than serve you, like checking whatsapp or bitching about their boss.
Next time that happens, I’m walking out with a handful of goods. People need to stop acting like they are doing customers a favour.
Bonus: ‘Kemm Ħxint!’
Make it your 2017 resolution to avoid committing any of these moronic acts.