Hey Trump! Forget Greenland, Here’s 7 Reasons Why You Should Buy Malta Instead
News recently surfaced that Donald Trump is interested in buying Greenland; the world’s largest island. If you’re confused (because I definitely was), here’s a video that explains why Mr POTUS would want to do this pretty well.
And whilst Malta is definitely nowhere near being ‘the world’s largest island’, we’re still an island. And I think Trump should consider buying us instead should the Greenland deal fall through.
Here’s seven reasons why;
1. The weather is pretty good
We know Trump loves a good tan, but there’s no way he can maintain it by visiting Greenland. The sun in Malta is powerful and friendly, so he can combine business meetings and tanning appointments into one just by paying us a visit.
2. We love a good high-rise
The Trump Tower might not be welcomed on the icy island of Greenland (because yes, Greenland is the icy one, not the green one), but it would fit in perfectly here in Malta.
3. Nobody knows who we are
Can you imagine how impressed the people of America will be when Trump tells them that not only did he buy this tiny Mediterranean island, he probably discovered it too?
4. The Eurovision is a way in to taking over Europe
Ok, picture this: Trump buys Malta, he pumps loads of American dollars into our next Eurovision entry, we win the Eurovision, and all the other European countries beg him to do the same for them. Leader of the free-world AND the European Union? Noice.
5. Pastizzi
That’s it. That’s the reason. Plus the fact that we made them great again by adding Maltese sausage.
6. We love our ginger leaders
The Maltese are very dedicated to their political leaders, especially if they’re ginger. Dedicating their lives and body-parts to those running our country is a way of life. I’m sure Trump would enjoy that.
7. We sell our citizenship anyway
So why not just sell the entire island and get the thing over with? It only seems logical to me.