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‘It’s A Shit Place To Go’: Angry Tourist Vents His Experience Of Malta On Reddit

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Malta is a “shit place to go”, where nobody will smile at you and where all service workers are foreigners. 

This was the opinion of an angry tourist who took to Reddit to vent about his disappointing experience of our island. Although he or she also complained about it being “hot”, the user qualified this statement by saying that this, at least, was “not [our] fault”. Bless. 

Here are a few gems from this white-hot splurge of butthurt.

Maltese Sopranos fans, rejoice!


According to this HBO-literate reviewer, the bulk of Maltese males are just the spitting image of The Soprano’s Vito Spataforte: “short, fat and balding”

Vito Screengrab

But what about the women?


What starts off as a horny wish for the local women to be better-looking than men quickly spirals into a strange form of xenophobia, where the reviewer is irked to discover that “bloody foreigners” seem to populate the ranks of the service industry in Malta. Bonus points for the Fawlty Towers reference, though. 

Tumblr Mqowd25Y Oz1Su29G2O1 250

Smile and the world smiles with you, Malta!

However, our beleaguered traveller did, in the end, come across some locals after all… finding them sorely lacking in the warmth and enthusiasm department, though.


Fair point: our crazy car culture

This one’s a bit harder to contest. Fair is fair!


Bad Lieutenants

This is both worrying and hilarious in equal measure. Sure, drunk driving is nothing to smile about and is to be condemned at all times. But the aftermath of this is such a farce, you’d think a more chilled out tourist would know how to laugh about it.


It wasn’t a total loss, though… 


War Museum

But in the end, the final verdict was brutal


Naturally, the reactions came in thick and fast


Thundercunt. We like it.

Anger The Nation

Some wonderful passive-aggressive ju-jitsu right there.

Then, somebody pulled the Daphne card…


To which our reviewer responded with the ultimate mic drop


This impulsive and no-holds-barred review may get your patriotic dander up. Or it could be the case that you grudgingly (read: secretly) agree with some of the things being said. 

Whichever side of the argument you fall on, the fact remains that the rant makes for a refreshing change from the tourism-board approved cliche praise we keep hearing from our many foreign guests during the summer. 

So what did you think of this Redditer’s assessment of Malta? A bunch of angry, entitled bullshit, or valid criticism? Let us know on Facebook, or send us a Snap!

READ MORE: 13 Things Everyone Hates About Malta

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