Other Monuments We Can’t Believe We Have To Ask You To Not Fuck Up
Featured photo: artist’s impression of what Ġgantija could look like if more people only thought of it as ‘an old stone’.
By now you’ve probably seen the sad news that a couple took it upon themselves to deface the Ġgantija Megalithic Temples, aka one of the most iconic locations on the Maltese islands.
The temples, which predate Stonehenge and the Pyramids by a substantial number of years, form an integral part of every secondary school curriculum which is why it’s so frustrating that anyone expects people to tell them not to etch deep carvings into UNESCO World Heritage sites.
Just in case we’re totally wrong about being frustrated, here are some more PSA to safeguard our history:
1. Please don’t set fire to Valletta
Yes, it may be ‘little more than a collection of limestone bricks arranged into Baroque designs’, but please don’t set it on fire to demonstrate your burning love for someone.
2. Please don’t use explosives on the Azure Window
Yes, it may be ‘a sea cave with no back wall’, but please don’t explode the last bit of connecting-rock left just to have it renamed as “Khal Drogo’s Dick”.
3. Please don’t waterslide down the aqueducts
Sure, perhaps they are simply ‘ancient Roman stone pipes’, but please don’t turn them into your personal waterpark.
4. Please don’t pour food colouring into Triton Fountain
Fair enough, it isn’t much more than ‘three meremen holding a borma‘, but please don’t change the water’s colour to represent your political party or Pokemon Go team.
Original, non-food-coloured image by Joshua Zader
5. Please don’t spray-paint Mdina’s bastions
Sure, in essence, they’re just ‘thick ħitan tas-sejjieħ’, but if you could avoid using the walls as Malta’s largest billboard, that’d be great.
6. Please don’t cut down the trees at Buskett
Yes, it is just ‘a bunch of green leaves and wood’, but please don’t cut it down to keep your fireplace going that one day of winter when it’s actually cold.
7. Please don’t carve your own name into the War Memorial
Sure, it’s only ‘a pillar with some names etched on it’ but please don’t add your name to that list to show that you also love your country.
8. Please don’t cover Comino in deck ch- oh…
… guess we’re too late on this one, huh?
