Earlier today, we were all (secretly or otherwise) excited about University of Malta introducing a new study-unit about the Eurovision Song Contest.
While this whole thing came about as part of the larger project ‘The Educational Value of the Eurovision‘, we couldn’t help but dream up of what other… unique courses should be offered at our beloved UoM.
1. The Sociopolitical Commentary in Clinton Paul’s Songs
We’ve already covered the emotional journey of Paul’s latest album Samsara, but you’re burying your head in the sand if you think he’s just a guy who’s in it for the wigs and the fame.
This course would analyse the intricate and hidden meanings behind Clinton Paul’s songs, and travel through his discography noting the times his singles perfectly reflected the sentiment of huge occurrences around the world.
2. The Art of Complaining
For thousands of people, University marks the last bastion of education before proper induction into the adult life. And what better way to prepare a budding Maltese adult than to get them proficient in that most valued national characteristic of all?
The course would offer a wide spectrum of subjects that one can moan about, including the most meta one (that is left to till the very end): complaining about people who constantly complain.
3. The Ethical Ramifications of Pastizzi Orders
Is one of each really the perfect choice? How do you justify buying half a dozen? Will the people around you judge you for the rest of your life? Is it okay to lie and pretend you’re going to a party and that’s why you bought so many? What is the earliest acceptable time to have one? All these important questions and many more await.
4. A Brief History of Angelik Caruana
A vital biographical study of the man behind the messages from heaven. Includes one special final lecture where Angelik himself walks into the hall and drops down on the floor to answer questions the students might have to the Virgin Mary.
5. The Real Rules of the Road
During the first and second years at University, many students would still be in the process of obtaining their license. Set to be lovingly referred to as the RRR for short, this credit will deal with the stuff your driving instructor will never tell you.
This includes (but is not limited to) how to take up two or more parking spaces with one Vitz, the rules of roundabouts and how to ignore them, and the appropriate steps in picking a fight with a random stranger on the road.
6. Swearing 101
Yes, most people would already be pretty proficient at swearing by the age of seventeen, but what this course will aim to do is to first start with an intricate history of Maltese swear words, detailing the different ways we as a country have offended each other throughout the centuries (with particular focus on the times of the Knights and the British) and then move on to situation-specific swearing.
Prospective students will finally learn that they have a colourful arsenal at their disposal, and they don’t have to always bank on the same couple of swear words all the time. Needless to say, your “Saqsi ‘l ommok” days are over!
7. A Critical Rewatching of Dejjem Tiegħek Becky
At face value, Dejjem Tiegħek Becky is a much-loved television series that stole the hearts (and minds) of many citizens. However, this credit will challenge those simple face-value ideas and argue that we are all, indeed, Becky.