Things Trump Would Say If He Were Running In Malta

Scary to think how many fans he'd have here.

Trump Malta

As a person on the internet, you've probably heard about Donald Trump - and if you've heard of Donald Trump then you've certainly heard some of the stupid shit he's said over the past couple of months.

We often feel a strong sense of relief that Trump isn't running in Malta, but what would his speeches sound like if he was after the seat of power in Castille?

Have your say! Who would you vote for in the US election?

1. He'll come up with a fantastic solution for a tired debate

"I will build a bridge. I will build a great, great bridge on our channel, and I will make the Gozitans pay for the bridge."

Trump Hotline

2. He'll stay humble

"The beauty of me is... I'm rich! I could pay off PN's debts and run a campaign as expensive as PL's and still be super rich"

Telling It Like It Is Trump

3. He'll tackle "the issues"

"When England send their people, they're not sending their best with socks and sandals. They're sending drugs, they're sending crime. And yes some, I assume, actually like Bugibba."

Trump Faces

4. He'll "tell it like it is"

"Bacon? I love bacon! What's wrong with bacon everywhere - yes even in a Quran? Actually it's a waste of bacon but this is a democracy and bacon should be everywhere!"

Dont Care Trump

5. He'll enter meaningful debates 

"My hands are huge; look at Franco Debono's hands. Franco Debono is a man with small hands, I am a man with huge hands!"

Trump Hands

6. He'll always fact-check his statements

“An extremely credible source has called my office and told me that Konrad Mizzi’s birth certificate is a fraud. He spies for China. He lived in England. He works in Panama. He's just not Maltese." 

Trump Glasses

7. He'll work on our crumbling infrastructure

"I will build high rise towers everwhere! Mriehel? Sliema? Valletta? Comino? Everywhere. And nobody builds high rise towers better than me, believe me"

Thank You Gif

8. He'll come up with a shitty slogan

"Making Malta Great"

Angry Trump

Bonus: His wife would give some inspiring speeches

"Malta l-ewwel u qabel kollox. Min mhux magħna kontra tagħna"

Melania Trump probably

Thanks to  Raisa Tarasova for the help with this one!

What do you think Trump would say if he was running here? Tell us in the comments on Facebook, or send us your best Trump impression on Snapchat!

READ NEXT: Who Do The Maltese Want As President Of The United States?

Written By

Chucky Bartolo

If there's no Mariah Carey GIF or reference to Eurovision in this article, just assume they've been edited out against my will.