While We’re At It, Let’s Just Recreate The Old Bus Terminus
So it turns out that winning an official competition (and receiving a government cheque as a prize) is not enough to guarantee your design will actually win.
The nostalgia Maltese people feel for our old public transport has been evident for a while now, but nothing says “Tal-linja 4 lajf” as clearly as the government’s decision to scrap the winning Monti stalls design, and replace it with this wooden monstrosity.
But why stop there? If we’re going to have a street lined with sad recreations of days gone by, let’s go all out and make a near perfect recreation of the old bus terminus. It’ll only take a bit of work (and a lot of imagination). Here’s how we propose to do it:
1. Relocate the Triton Fountain
It’s been a long time coming, but the Triton Fountain can finally be moved to a new iconic location: directly in front of the new parliament.
Photo: Flickr
2. Tberfil. Tberfil everywhere
Any text (including prices on items) not written in the iconic patterned style will result in the hawker’s license being temporarily revoked. NB: Should they not have an official license they will be told off in a very stern tone of voice.
3. Inspirational stickers
The exception to the tberfil rule will be sticker decals with a deep and personal message. We don’t want the wisdom of “I wish you 200 you wish me” to be lost in the intricacies of a floral pattern.
4. Add Mqaret
Planning the new space will involve taking photos of the tal-linja stands from every possible angle. If you can’t see an mqaret stand in at least 75% of them, we need to invest in more.
5. Kemm Alla ħalaq ħamiem
Imported using a long line of bread crumbs from City Gate to Ordnance Street (sometimes referred to as the ‘reverse Hansel & Gretel’ technique) the new Old Terminus will be equally plagued by Valletta’s iconic winged rats.
