It’s finally the weekend and we’re about to witness the great migration of youths towards Paceville. Surrounded by a sea of clubs to choose from, many divide into their respective genres. But at any given point throughout the night there will always be the one friend who suggests that it’s finally time for Havana.
Once you’re there you’ll rub shoulders (among other body parts) with a lot of individuals, but here are the 7 people you will inevitably meet on your stay there.
1. The amateur pole dancer
Every night at Havana starts with a shot, and ends with regret. Somewhere in between those two, a random dancer’s ass is going to appear out of the sky and hit you right on the head while they “drop it like it’s hot” – thanks Snoop.
2. The incarcerated
Trapping themselves in Havana’s iconic cage, this individual dances around the tiny prison, frantic for attention. Turning the steel bars into a prop, they try to attract bystanders who are looking on, impressed by just how little dignity some people have
3. The toilet parade
This parade consists of a train of three or more people pushing their way through the crowds in an attempt to reach the toilet before one of them pees, or pukes, on the dance floor. Just because they’re rushed doesn’t mean they can’t shake it while pushing forward if their song comes on
4. The angry boyfriend
If you peer through the thin mist of everyone else’s sweat, and scan the dark corners of the club you’ll see at least one unhappy boyfriend, grumpily fuming with his arms crossed. He stares intently at his girlfriend, who is currently having the time of her life doing body shots off her best friend
5. The ‘out past your bedtime’
“Little boy where is your mother?” A concern you will have at least once
6. The ‘out past your bedtime’ v.2
Repping the complete other side of the spectrum, “Old man, where is your care giver?” will also be a thing you think about
7. The walking Accessorize outlet
Nothing says Pijvij (that’s Paceville for those of you reaching for the dictionary) quite like wearing every single piece of jewelry you’ve been given since you turned 14.