For the uninitiated, ‘chemtrails’ are those fluffy white lines of cloud which science claims are caused by water vapour freezing around small particles in aircraft exhaust. Naturally, conspiracy theorists know these are actually part of a secret military/government project to control the weather via dodgy chemicals sprayed in the sky by specially designed aircraft.
Maltese conspiracy theorists believe the best way of fighting back is typing angry posts in the Salott. Obvs.
Here are five ways to channel your outrage.
1. Share articles from really dodgy websites to give your argument credibility
If it sounds legit, it’s probably collective-evolution.com.
2. Show off your academic qualifications by adding other random issues to the mix
Vaccines. Public health. Everyone loves a guy who can back up what they’re saying. Especially if they have a medical degree in the sciences and all the medical aspects.
3. Blame those blaming the education system
That’s what got us into this mess in the first place. Must’ve been something they sprayed in schools.
4. Attack the real culprits: Joseph and Konrad
Is that why they’re always talking gas?
5. Backup your findings with unexplained weather phenomena
You know how Game of Thrones was wrong and winter never actually came? If you’re too busy thinking about climate change and El Niño, you’ll be missing the real reason causing everyone distress.
Thankfully one Salottier had a good solution to the problems we’re experiencing
It’s definitely a win-win situation. The believers will be safe from the harmful chemicals of the world, and the lizard overlords trying to control us; while the rest can live a life free from ignorant comments and bring The Salott back to discussions about LIDL.