13 Things Everyone Experiences During Meetings In Malta

A definitive guide to recognising when you're in a meeting with the Maltese

Ok Great Meeting

There are a limited number of people, locally or otherwise, who actually enjoy going to meetings - but to everyone else they're simply a part of the job. A part which is totally understandable, and obviously necessary. 

But for some reason meetings in Malta seem to have that unique island flair we always seem to add to everything, and here's how to recognise it:

1. You'll get a text cancelling the meeting when you're already on the way

Probably a previous meeting 'ran on for much longer than expected' or the company had a crisis 'nqala xeba xogħol'.

Really

2. Or you'll have to send the dreaded "Sorry, stuck in traffic" text

Try as you might, there's no predicting the traffic situation on Maltese roads. You're either gonna be two hours early, or late. There's no in between.

Traffic

3. You'll give a pitch to a client whose eyes will never leave their phone

Boy am I glad I spent three days working on this presentation! Sellili!

Hello

4. You'll reel with horror as you realise you dated a relative of the client

If you were lucky enough to not have dated the client themselves! #MaltaŻgħira

Horror Gif

5. You'll endure the silence of judgement as they scour your business card

Design, printing, role, email address - they'll scan every detail and find out half of what they think they need to know in a heartbeat (that seems to last a lifetime).

Squint

6. They'll forget to offer you a drink

It's fine, it's only 35 degrees outside! Who needs water?

Thirsty

7. And the coffee will taste terrible

I'm one sip in - only 562 left to finish the cup.

Spit Out

8. Or it'll taste so good you consider asking them what brand they use

Seriously though, you need this stuff back at your office!

Hug In A Cup

9. There will be an issue with the projector and the introverted IT guy will lumber in

And you'll try to catch his eye and nod in thanks, but he'll never look back up at you.

It Guy

10. And everyone in the room will pretend they didn't see the awkward search suggestion on the client's laptop

"It's a pop-up!!"

Hide Eyes Gif

11. You'll have to endure the awkward opening conversation about the weather

"Sħana barra hux!"

Fake Smile

12. And the awkward closing conversation about the weather

"Nispera mgħadhiex daqsekk sħana barra"

Forced Smile

13. And above all you'll learn ways to avoid the sweaty handshake

Be it a smooth wipe-n-present or an exaggerated 'yikes I'm holding too many things to shake your hand' nod, you'll learn to avoid the sweaty palmed encounters you're bound to have.

Awkwrd Handshake

What else do you experience at every Maltese meeting? Tag a friend who always has the worst meetings in the comments on Facebook!

READ NEXT: 9 Things To Tell Your Foreign Lover Before They Meet Your Maltese Family

Written By

Nik Farrugia

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