Every nationality has its linguistic idiosyncrasies that make it unique yet at times, strange to others.
Here are a few of many examples of how the Maltese way of communicating is far from an exception.
– Or lack thereof. Yeah, eloquence is probably not our strongest point.
‘Aw x’jismek, għaddili waħda il x’jgħidulu ah.’
(Ey, whatsyourface, pass me the whatsitcalled.)
2. Speaking To Children
For some reason Maltese people – especially those totally opposed to the English language- turn to English words when speaking to their children. Rather than ‘Mur aħsel idejk‘, they’ll say ‘Mur agħmel wash hands‘. ‘Mur agħmel toilet‘ and ‘Ħa tirrabja miegħek il-lady!’ are also classics.
Mur agħmel wash hands, ejja, u titkessaħx.
3. My Problems > Your Problems
You’ve finally plucked up the courage to open up about that problem that’s been eating you inside, only to be rudely interrupted by someone who can’t wait until you’ve finished your sentence to tell you all about her bigger, more serious problems. #MyProblemsBringAllTheBoysToTheYard
Kisser snienu kollha Matthew?! Dak m’hu xejn! Allaħares ngħidlek x’għamel Jason tiegħi!
(Matthew’s broken all his teeth, you say? That’s nothing! You wouldn’t believe me if I told you what my Jason has done!)
4. Speaking Over Each Other
Filomena: ‘Mela mela, mhux hekk nibqaw tgħid!’
Grace: ‘Eeh, tgħidli xejn!’
Tracy: ‘Għidtlu ta jien! Jew jgħidtlu jien. Ara ma taħsibx!’
Before you know it, it has started to sound like a rap battle gone wrong.
5. Cool Story Bro – Wait, What’s The Topic Again?
Small-Town-Syndrome; a condition in which the inhabitants of a small town lack stuff to do, causing a general malaise of boredom and monotony, which in turn causes equally inspiring conversation – or monologue.
‘Il-mara li tgħix faċċata…nsomma mhux faċċata eżatt ax faċċata hemm garaxx..insomma din il-mara…’
M’hemmx li tispiċċa din l-istorja!
6. Jien, Myself and I.
When everything anyone says happens for or because of them, you know you’re in Malta.
‘Għax Bob Dylan tiegħi ħadli l-engage!’
Here in Malta, we express closeness in a unique way;
A: ‘Aw l-annimal!’ (Hey, animal!)
B: ‘X’għandna, ħmieġ!’ (What’s up, dirtbag!)
Shakespeare would be proud. Donald Trump, inspired.