So it turns out that winning an official competition (and receiving a government cheque as a prize) is not enough to guarantee your design will actually win.
The nostalgia Maltese people feel for our old public transport has been evident for a while now, but nothing says “Tal-linja 4 lajf” as clearly as the government’s decision to scrap the winning Monti stalls design, and replace it with this wooden monstrosity.
But why stop there? If we’re going to have a street lined with sad recreations of days gone by, let’s go all out and make a near perfect recreation of the old bus terminus. It’ll only take a bit of work (and a lot of imagination). Here’s how we propose to do it:
1. Relocate the Triton Fountain
It’s been a long time coming, but the Triton Fountain can finally be moved to a new iconic location: directly in front of the new parliament.
2. Tberfil. Tberfil everywhere
Any text (including prices on items) not written in the iconic patterned style will result in the hawker’s license being temporarily revoked. NB: Should they not have an official license they will be told off in a very stern tone of voice.
3. Inspirational stickers
The exception to the tberfil rule will be sticker decals with a deep and personal message. We don’t want the wisdom of “I wish you 200 you wish me” to be lost in the intricacies of a floral pattern.
4. Add Mqaret
Planning the new space will involve taking photos of the tal-linja stands from every possible angle. If you can’t see an mqaret stand in at least 75% of them, we need to invest in more.
5. Kemm Alla ħalaq ħamiem
Imported using a long line of bread crumbs from City Gate to Ordnance Street (sometimes referred to as the ‘reverse Hansel & Gretel’ technique) the new Old Terminus will be equally plagued by Valletta’s iconic winged rats.