Photo credit: Mrsiraphol – Freepik.com

So, the unspoken rule is: every Starbucks store will butcher your name. You could have the most common single-syllable name, you can bet your double-spice caramel soy latte you’ll get an illegible scrawl on your cup.

From Axl to Zelashian, buckle up – this one’s going to be a tough one to swallow

1. Gizzlane

Gizzlane, please.

I’m sorry what?

Gizzlane.

2. Kelsinith

X’inhu?! Er?a g?ida, xejn ma fhimt…

Kell-sin-nit.

Ah, OK.

3. Siobhan (attempt 1)

My name’s Siobhan…

4. Siobhan (attempt 2)

No, no – it’s spelled out as SIGH-OH-BAN

5. Siobhan (attempt 3)

Can you put it under ‘Sharon’?

6. Zelashian

… And, how do you spell that?

Zeh-lie-shee-ahn.

… Zeh-

Zeh-lie-shee-ahn.

…

7. Jomarie

Are you sure this is my latte?

Inti mhux tal-hazelnut ridt, qalbi?

8. Stephanie

So it’s S, T, E-

I know how to spell it…

9. Sean

Spelled the normal way, uwx?

As opposed to…

10. Redeemer

Now is that two ‘E’s in the middle?

Mhm.

Got it…

11. ?aqnu

Eh, lilek nafek jien!

BONUS: a classic and honorable mention

So, my name’s Lily.

Heh heh…

Tag a Shawn. And a Shaun. And a Sean.

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Matthew Baldacchino

Self-titled resident SJW and expressionless in-house Head of Internal Marketing. Matt loves prepping vegan and vegetarian food, consumes way too much coffee, and has an unhealthy penchant for storyboarded Instagram Stories. When he's not trying to figure out social media policies, marketing strategies or cracking SEO conundrums, you can catch him as the host of Basically, Livestream Of Consciousness or Lovin Daily. Hit him up if you've got a story about the environment, arts and culture, health, politics and activism, or LGBTQI+ issues. He's also a doctor, but we don't talk about that.