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13 Irritating Things That Maltese Who Move Abroad Always Say

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Living abroad can expand one’s horizons, teach you to be more tolerant, more susceptible to new ideas, more curious. It can also turn you into a ‘class-A’, know-it-alls that other people can’t stand to be around. 

Here’s a list of the most deplorable things you’ll catch Maltese-aliens saying when they return home for a visit.

1. Maa, it’s just really convenient aye, cos everything’s so tiny?!

Just like the will I have to spend more time with you.

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2. The roads are still a disaster ah, it’s shocking!

Not as shocking as if you moved to Mumbai instead of Berlin. 

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3. Jaq all these air-conditioning units make the streets look so ugly!

I’m glad your three-month stay in London has wiped away the memory of Malta’s physically unbearable summer heat. #ShutTheFuckUp

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4. I’m sorry, but Maltese people are so stupid!

Le, le you’re right. Where is your degree from by the way? Oh right, the University of Bum-Fuck Nowhere, UK.

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5. I had to wait five hours at Mater Dei ta, it’s like a third world country!

On behalf of Malta we apologise for the absolutely free medical attention and care you’ve received. 

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6. You don’t have self-service check-outs at supermarkets yet?

No. We’re actually still waiting for the most-annoying technology to ever be invented to reach our shores. 

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7. Our beaches really aren’t anything to write home about ta

If only you had written home instead of visiting…

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8. Marelli, there’s nothing to do here aye?!

It’s either that, or people just don’t want to hang out with you.

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9. I really miss open space!

Do you also miss not being surrounded by the Mediterranean Sea and enjoying 300+ days of sunshine? Mhm, didn’t think so. 

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10. I’m really impressed – things have really improved since I was last here!

Well that’s good, because obviously the whole nation is working in tandem towards one solitary goal: to impress you

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11. People do not know how to dress here…

It’s true. We find it really hard to replicate to a T every hipster outfit we’ve ever seen on Pinterest. 

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12. Everything is so backwards uff!

Maybe you should go backwards from whence you came. #itlaqlhemm

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13. I wish people were less racist here…

Okay, we’re with you on that one. 

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Are these the only annoying things Maltese people who live abroad say? Let us know in the comments if there are more!

READ NEXT: Things All Maltese People Do When They Go To Gozo

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