6 Weird Fetishes That Are Amplified In Malta

Fifty Shades of Strange

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The world is a very big place filled with very strange things, and when it comes to being sexually aroused, it's as weird as it gets. Here are six fetishes you might not have heard of that can only get much better (or worse, depending on how you look at it) in Malta:

1. Actirasty

Arousal to the sun's rays

With around 3,000 hours of sunshine per year, Malta surpasses nearly every European country by thousands of hours. In July, sunshine averages rise to literally more than 12 hours per day, so if the sun turns you on, you know exactly where (and when) to go!

2. Agalmatophilia

Arousal to statues

There are over 100 feasts in Malta, and they all have a titular statue or two. And that doesn't even count the obsession we have with small shrines with statues of saints on every odd corner in Malta. Maybe we all have agalmatophilia and we just don't know it yet...


3. Nebulophilia

Arousal to fog

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Photo by Ann Marie Farrugia

Fog in Malta happens often enough to be an actual thing, but infrequently enough to be special every single time. And if that stuff turns you on, wait until you see some of the island's beautiful scenery under a thick shroud of (sexy?) fog.

4. Frotteurism

Arousal to touching a stranger surreptitiously in a crowded place

Between Malta's insanely high population density and the country's tendency to flock to cultural and political events like sheep, this is the perfect place to come if you get your kicks from secretly brushing against a stranger.

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5. Chasmophilia

Arousal to caverns, crevices and valleys

From the legendary cave in Gozo where the ravishing and clingy Calypso kept Ulysses as a prisoner of love for seven whole years, to a whole host of deep (wet) cervices and valleys all around the island, Malta has got all your chasmophilia desires sorted for you...perhaps a little too effectively.

6. Lithophilia

Arousal to stone

Limestone is one of the most important materials in the entire country, and is so iconic that it's also landed a mention in a major Maltese film coming out soon. It's what nearly each and every single house in Malta is built from, and if that's not enough, head out to the countryside and enjoy the large expanses of garigue, which is one of the main natural habitats in Malta.

If all of that somehow isn't enough, you might want to check out the megalithic temples of Malta, which are some of the oldest free-standing structures in the world (for that extra historic fetish). They're so mega, so lithic

Tag a friend who has a weird fetish!

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Written By

David Grech Urpani

Sarcastically ironic, Dave is a recovering hipster musician with a penchant for chicken, women's clothes and Kanye.