7 Neighbours You’re Bound To Have In Every Maltese Street
Some people are almost a staple to every neighbourhood. Others are staple to an entire country.
Here are seven neighbours that can pretty much be found in every Maltese locale.
1. Is-Sendikajra
The sendikajra literally knows everything about everybody.
There’s no rock left unturned by this obscure entity. If walls really could talk, the sendikajra would be their mistress. She almost sounds like a Maltese folk legend, like the babaw and it-tork — but unlike them, she managed to survive to this day and age.
Do not underestimate the power of the sendikajra; your deepest darkest secrets are hers to see and hear.
2. The car guy
Every single Sunday from 8am till around 11am, this motor aficionado is found standing by the love of his life — either his car or his bike.
He is almost always found playing his car stereo loudly enough to wake the whole street up. This is the kind of man who is willing to take apart his car’s headlamps just to clean the dust that gathers up behind them.
Ladies, mark my words — this man is the ultimate catch.
3. The dodgy guy
Like the old ghost woman in the Insidious movie I once watched, this man creeps up when you least expect him to.
His eyes penetrate your soul until you either vanish around the corner or into your house. Nothing is remotely scrupulous for this guy — he’s fine with doing a whole array of dodgy stuff, from selling questionable car stereos to having the odd cock fight. Although very dodgy, he generally rarely poses a threat to anyone, and if you ever need help, rest assured that he will stop to see if he can assist you.
Qalbu perżuta.
4. The mildly senile neighbour
This one is generally quite unpredictable and flinty.
This neighbour is often found bickering either with herself or with another neighbour. In some villages, it is said that the mildly senile woman (or man) is often seen rummaging through other people’s garbage. Generally, this woman is docile and seldom a threat to other residents, apart from when her path crosses with that of the sendikajra. These two are natural born enemies, and natural forces clash when these two woman come face to face.
The mildly senile woman knows that the sendikajra is spying on her, and the sendikajra knows that the mildly senile woman knows.
5. The friendly neighbour
This is the “orrajt hi?” neighbour, always happy and smiling.
The overly-friendly neighbour rarely means any harm. Her agenda is that to spread goodness throughout the neighbourhood. Every morning the OFN is chirping bongus to everyone who walks by.
She is a neutral force in the neighbourhood, always meaning well and seldom seen ill-tempered.
6. L-Impenjata
Always in a hurry, this woman has no time for anything.
Her packed schedule keeps her constantly on the run. Whenever we meet the impenjata she is hurrying off somewhere — taking her kids to see the doctor, going on errands, picking up her kunjata for Sunday lunch and slamming car doors with a shit ton of bags in her hand.
This woman is a professional juggler, she never takes a break and whenever you meet her, the greeting will always be “UUUU KEMM JIEN MĦABBTA HI!” The impenjata is our local Harrison Ford, living life on the fast lane.
7. The Clean Freak
The clean freak’s natural habitat is her home.
She rarely ventures out of her squeaky clean abode and is often seen washing her parapett or cleaning windows. This woman lives life on the edge — sometimes seen balancing herself perilously on her second floor window sill, this woman truly has no limits.
There is no tile left unpolished, no plate left unwashed, this woman is a true walking disinfectant.