Nothing makes us giggle quite like cheeky and rude Maltese songs. From tongue in cheek satirical pieces to crude eye-opening remarks, Malta really has got it all when it comes to vulgarities. To prove it, here are seven songs that we definitely don’t recommend blaring out at the office.

1. Xtruppaw: Dlam Ċappa w Riħa ta’ Ħara

This is one of those songs that warns you exactly where it’s going from that beautiful title. A song about a man’s hardships of trying to find the toilet when nature calls, this one’s the perfect crude beginning to a chuckling playlist that will have you feeling like you’re 16 all over again.

2. Marmalja: Pressjoni

Pressjoni’s seven-minute music video starts off on a pretty serious and grim tone, but it quickly escalates into a modern Eminem-style satirical piece that takes down half the country. Marmalja warn that their song has “kontenut għall-udjenza matura”, but there are still moments that might catch you off-guard, like “Il-Gvern bħall kamasutra, għax huwa qed moħxi f’kull pożizzjoni” and the hilarious“Qabduni nġerriħ u tawni ġieħ ir-Repubblika”, which gets added effect considering the song was released a couple of months after the award’s controversy. 

3. Bila: Wiċċek ma’ Wiċċi

BILA are approaching the one year anniversary since they released their demo EP, but they’re still going at full throttle. One of the most popular tracks in their live sets remains Wiċċek ma’ Wiċċi, which brings out the best of Maltese hardcore punk with an entertainingly crass anthem that always gets the crowd going, “Wiċċek ma’ wiċċi, iż-żobb kemm int ikraħ”.

4. Brikkuni: Gadazz Ġiljan

A song dedicated to the man dubbed “l-Ambaxxatur Malti tar-relax”, Brikkuni’s Gadazz Ġiljan boasts a long list of standout moments highlighting the life of a Maltese man who couldn’t give less of a damn if he tried. 

But the verse that the whole crowd is always eagerly waiting for comes after the first chorus, when Mario cracks everyone up with, “Lili ma jmerini ħadd ħlief il-pompa tal-Marsa, reġgħet belatli ħames liri f’għoxx dik ommha!”

5. Patri Porga: Għażiża Connie

One of those songs that’s been re-uploaded a couple of hundred times to MySpace and YouTube, Connie is probably one of the most recognisable song on this list. Back in the Ares and Limewire days and well before Facebook and YouTube were an actual thing, noughties teens all gathered around their friend’s photo to giggle at this gem.

6. Bobzot Productions: Kemm Aw Liba Ttir

Bobzot songs have amassed an online legacy, and picking one of their songs is quite the challenge. But when it comes down to it, a rude Maltese version of Creedence Clearwater Revival’s Have You Ever Seen The Rain is a hands-down winner.

7. Daniel Dean Kingswell: Rużarju Remix

The viral sensation DDK started off 2017 with a bang(er). These classic Maltese clips come together perfectly to form a new anthem for our people.

BONUS: Joe Demicoli: Sieħbi Tidgħix

1993’s Radju Filfla is as classic Demicoli as it gets. Malta’s answer to Weird Al Yankovic, Demicoli reminds us to try and relax no matter how many ways your day goes wrong. So remember guys; don’t swear (or at least, do your very best not to).

Tag your most immature friends in the comments!

READ NEXT: WATCH: 6 Rude Maltese Songs That Will Leave You Cackling In Delight

David Grech Urpani

Lovin Malta's Head of Content, Dave has been in journalism for the better half of the last decade. Prefers Instagram, but has been known to doomscroll on TikTok. Loves chicken, women's clothes and Kanye West (most of the time).