7 Special Skills Unique To Maltese People
If you find yourself wandering around in another country and you happen by some other tourists, you will always instinctively know if they are Maltese or not. And we’re not talking about (loudly) hearing them swear at their children.
There’s something about the characteristics, our unique attributes and skills which just sets us apart from everyone else. And while you could say that about any other country, we’re willing to bet that some skills are just uniquely Maltese in a beautifully recognisable way.
Be it from birth, or through our unique cultural rites of passage, here are seven skills Maltese people have developed.
1. Drunk on any day of the week
We’re starting off a tad controversial, but if you’ve been living in Malta for more than a couple of months, you’ll understand just how much of a skill this is.
You think it’s easy to push your body’s limit day after day, week after week? No; it takes dedication, effort, time, and real commitment. We know we’ve got work the next day, but the only way we’re going to enjoy the party is at the bottle of that vodka bottle. There’s no two sense about it… the hustle is real.
It’s also self-destructive and is not doing your wallet any help, but hey; #Skills!
2. Creative swearing
Daily reaching poetic levels.
Every Maltese person seems to believe that you can earn a lot of street cred through the creativity of the Maltese language, and everyone has their own arsenal of favourite swear words.
With vocabulary to rival any of the literary greats, some of the links you can find between family, body parts, and religious figures is literally jaw dropping, and impressive.
3. Knowing everything about everyone
As if keeping tabs on everyone you know (and don’t know) was easy.
Maltese people love a bit of gossip. From our early days of spying on our neighbours behind the curtain windows, to our new technological era of social stalking, we’re excellent at data mining every information we may have heard about anyone we know.
Sure, we may not pass every exam, but if you put us in a room with a paper, a pen and someone we know, we could write their entire life story in seconds.
Knowledge is power kids, keep up.
4. The ability to complain about anything and everything
Another skill that people turn their noses at. Ugh, people. And noses; don’t get me started on those ugly noses!
Do you know how difficult it is to always see the worst out of any situation?
Finding an excuse to let off some steam and go on a rant is more than just a skill; it’s a national obligation.
When a situation arises, make sure to hop on the bandwagon and start blaming the party in government, or the other one, or the police, or the people involved, or the people not involved, or the refugees, or the rest of Europe… or the world, for being jealous of Malta.
But never yourself. You’re our perfect shining star.
5. Totally zone out at every family gathering
You wake up hungover for a family Sunday gathering, and hearing your uncle ramble on about his views on literally everything and everyone is the last thing on your list.
Fortunately, years of practice have given us the edge. We’re able to almost entirely zone out, tune our ears off and just let time pass us by as we deal with our hangover… and plans for the evening drinks.
6. Make friends with anyone
We can be anywhere in the world, doing anything in the world, but if there’s one thing guaranteed, it’s that we won’t be alone.
We’re a party nation, in that where we go, the party goes. Making friends with the most unlikely of people is a national skill that should be embraced by us all.
Pat yourself on the back, if you’re ever in need, you’ve got a friend in us.
Unless you’re one of the people we’ve decided to blame for practically anything. In that case, insa ?abib.
7. Remain relatively calm in the worst situations
Ok, ok. Let’s try to be a bit more honest on this one.
We do relatively well in some stressful situations. But even if you think Maltese people are short-tempered (and in some cases, you might be very right), you really have to put things into perspective.
I mean, even the fact that we face traffic and parking problems on a daily basis and still not go absolutely insane in our cars is worth of a couple of medals, surely.
