7 Things To Expect With Malta’s Thunderstorms This Weekend
With thunderstorms forecasted this coming Sunday, we thought we’d abide by the time-honoured statement, ‘prevention is better than cure.’
As we predict the downfall that will plague Maltese society during this weekend’s ‘extreme weather’, we’re taking it upon ourselves to prepare you for the seven things that all Maltese people are bound to do as the first drops of rain water our thirsty island.
1. We’re taking out all our winter clothes
Temperatures are still flirting with the 30 degree mark yet the sight of a few grey clouds gives us just enough (false) hope to fool us into thinking that winter is right round the corner.
There’s no denying it – we’re sick of summer.
Stare in awe as people mindlessly change over their wardrobes and sweat profusely through their fleece hoodies. They’re in pain – you know it, they know it – but nothing’s stopping these brave winter warriors from begging mother nature to treat us to a gust of cold, crisp air.
2. We’re cancelling all our plans
Summer rain in Malta is basically an extreme weather event – so how far off can we possibly be from finding ourselves in the midst of a hurricane, flood, or God forbid, a blizzard?!
Your ex is going to be at your friend’s baby shower and you never really felt like going to your nephew’s Holy Communion party at Luxol anyway, so flaking on plans at this point is practically a safety precaution. Just remember not to upload any stories of you lounging in bed binging the latest season of Money Heist.
3. We’re forgetting how to drive
That 5 minute drizzle at 9am has practically turned Malta’s side-roads into one, big lazy river and the Kappara flyover into the orange slide at Splash & Fun.
The same guy who’d break the sound barrier driving to his Nanna’s house on a sunny day is struggling to reach the 30km/h mark on a barely-damp main road. But hey, if it’s between driving behind this guy or skidding head-first into an arblu tad-dawl, we’re pretty sure we’d choose the former.
4. We’re posting it all on Instagram
“That Boomerang of the rain falling on your Skoda’s windshield was really cool istja”, said literally no-one ever.
Okay, we get it, it barely ever rains in Malta and you’re excited, rest assured we are too. But as ‘a e s t h e t i c’ as it might look, a glance outside our bedroom window will reward us with a view that will put your miserable Instagram story to shame.
5. We’re complaining about washing our car
Whether you washed your car yesterday or last year, probability is that as the first drop of rain blesses your windshield you’re automatically reacting with an “Is-Santa għadni naħsilha!”
This is often followed by an unsolicited lesson about how and why this type of rain specifically is tat-tidlik and the sudden realisation that you left your whites hanging out to dry. For a nation of pretend-meteorologists, we sure don’t think ahead.
6. We’re going to start thinking of Christmas
Malta’s first end-of-summer rain marks the beginning of Christmas season for many holiday-enthusiasts.
This is manifested in a number of ways: Michael Bublé once again comes out of his quasi-yearlong hibernation, overly-dramatic Christmas adverts are all over your Facebook feed, and those absolutely ridiculous ‘Krismiss Faders’ start mushrooming all over unsuspecting balconies.
7. We’re sleeping a ridiculous amount
Us Maltese simply love to find any excuse to justify our occasionally over-indulgent sleeping schedules – and it almost always boils down to the weather.
If it’s hot and stuffy then it’s the sun’s fault for making us feel drained and drowsy, but if it’s rainy and cloudy then nothing really sounds better than cuddling up under our bedsheets.