November in Malta brings an endless stream of graduations and buscades galore, flooding Facebook feeds and the island’s streets alike. Most of the celebrations don’t really change from year to year, meaning Maltese graduates end up going through very similar things no matter what they studied.
Here are eight things that always happen to Maltese people when they graduate.
1. Standing and forcing a smile as your tearful parents take the 174th photo of you in a toga fis-salott
“You do know I barely did any work for a big chunk of the years I was at Uni and then just kind of pulled my socks up for a couple of exams and an assignment or two, right?”
2. Throwing your graduation hat in the air but quickly rushing to catch it because it’s a rental and you don’t want it to be damaged
Lord, let nothing happen to my toga.
3. Wondering what you’re going to do with that €600 watch or that equally-expensive fountain pen you got as a graduation gift
But what am I supposed to do with this? My car costs less! But hey… thanks?
4. Trying really hard to come with a “rhyme-song” for the buscade
Huge emphasis on those air quotes.
“How have I managed to use my creative skills to graduate but I can’t come up with a short stupid rhyme to celebrate my graduation?”
5. Realising the song you have kind of loses its novelty after 54 choruses but sticking with it because it’s too late now
Fuck it, we’re literally on the bus now.
6. Hoping to God it won’t rain during the celebrations
Sure, it’s November, but please let today be an exception.
7. Helplessly watching as the heavens open up and it quickly becomes the wettest day of the year
What did you expect? It’s mid November, and it’s been raining all week anyway. You definitely won’t let it stop you though.
This is Malta we’re talking about after all, so it’ll probably all be over in half an hour.
8. Having at least one person stuck in traffic behind the buscade resent you for getting a day off
Not to mention actively making it a point to show you said resentment.
It does however help to look at things from different people’s perspectives. It’s just another workday for them, while they’re stuck behind a bus full of substantially inebriated graduates.
Most people are going to feel obliged to act like adults though, so expect an emotionless glare or five.
BONUS: Being asked which fast food chain you’re going to start working at first
Oh, I get it – I just graduated and you think my years of studying at Uni were useless because of the course I chose!
That’s hilarious, and no one has ever used that joke in the history of graduations.