8 Typically Maltese Ways Of Getting Out Of A Conversation
Annoying conversations you just don’t want to be a part of anymore only get more annoying when you can’t think of a really good way of ending them.
At almost every social event or just life in general, you will meet at least one person who will make you scream internally about wanting to stop being involved in this conversation.
Calm yourself; the next time it happens, try whip out one of these classic Maltese conversation-dodgers to get yourself out of the dragging talk and back where you want to be.
1. “Aw, I need to refill my drink”
Perfect to use at parties, and probably the reason why we’ve mostly become a nation of borderline alcoholics.
Analyse the situation in your head, try measure your detest for the conversation by the amount of alcohol you have left in your glass, and strike.
It probably won’t be the last time you’ll have to down that bad boy just to put some distance between you and Captain Boring, so plan this out carefully.
2. “?ej ta!” *never comes back*
A little bit tricky for first-timers. The trick to this method is to make sure to come across as believable, so start brushing up on your acting chops.
A good tactic is to put one hand on their shoulder pretend you’re smiling while making eye contact with literally anyone else. Then, just slowly whisper “?ej ta… just going to say hi.”
Don’t wait for an answer, you don’t owe them more. Just walk away, hide your smile and focus really hard on the new person.
3. Pensively looking into the distance
The total fake-out. Don’t try this unless you’re a seasoned veteran, because this takes the previous point to a whole new level.
You’ll need to pretend to make eye contact with someone. You’ll need to pretend they’re signalling you. And you’ll need to get away from the person talking your ear off all with you them turning around once to check to see who you’re looking at.
Never has blood pumped so fast.
4. “… Insomma, kompli”
If the Maltese language had something to offer the entire world, it’s definitely these two simple words.
Never has it been so easy to leave a conversation before, and in such a positive way. There’s no loser because you’re acting like you don’t want to disturb the other person, when it is actually them disturbing you.
The most efficient way of telling someone: “No, honestly. Please don’t let me keep you. You’re a very busy and popular person, I’ll see you around :)”
5. “Ara there’s *random person’s name*!”
This one’s less about pretending there’s someone and hoping to God that someone does show up, so it’s definitely more water-tight, but needs a bit of luck. Lucky for us Maltese, there’s a friend or someone who deserves this exclamation on almost every corner.
There’s not much to this one; just find a gap of time between all the garbage coming out of their mouth, and tell them that (un)fortunately there is a friend nearby who you’ve known all your life that you simply must say hello to.
6. “I have to go, I’m parked badly!”
The best lies are the ones which make you look bad.
You didn’t park badly. You never have. You’ve never even used your emergency lights to so much as stop close to the pavement for a moment. But what you have used is that lying tongue of yours.
Let the words slip from your mouth, and just to pull the lie off even better, pretend to jog away. Go on; let your actions lie too.
7. “Sorry can’t talk, I’m super late”
Its simple; Malta and punctuality just don’t mix.
If you’re booked for a table at 9 pm, you’ll get in the shower at 8:55 pm and not feel the slightest big guilty.
At least this is a great way to avoid an overly long conversation because, let’s face it; it’s probably true.
8. “…”
This one’s an overlooked gem.
Just wait until the conversation gets so dull, even they start to get bored by the sound of their own voice.
Albeit simple in theory, this is probably the hardest method on here, probably due to all the social awkwardness it requires.
