Maltese people are known to be friendly, family-oriented, generous, spirited, and warm. But that doesn’t mean they don’t come with their own set of teeth-grindingly annoying habits.
Here’s some of the nation’s absolute worst offenders.
1. Hooting at an orange light
Some talented drivers even manage to anticipate the exact micro-second before the green flips to amber and simultaneously allow hell to break loose on their horn. Shut. The. Fuck. Up.
2. Pressing both the ‘Up’ and ‘Down’ buttons to call a lift
Haven’t your parents taught you to pick a direction in life?!
3. Attacking a vending machine when it’s not working as fast as they want it to
Why mess with the tried-and-tested method of hitting something to discipline it? #Logic
4. Taking drinks away from tables when there’s – clearly – two more sips left
Of course I won’t contest it because I don’t want to look like a cheap-skate – but WTF?!
5. Not queuing
Or observing any queue etiquette – I only stepped out of the queue for two seconds to help an old man avoid breaking his hip by lifting a six-pack of Krystal, please can I have my place in line back?
6. Not flushing in public toilets
Where do you need to be that quickly that you can’t take three seconds to wash away the deluge that is your excrement?
7. Jangling house keys ten minutes before their ride has reached their house
Nothing says “thanks for the lift” like a gesture which means “I can’t wait to get the fuck out of here”.
8. Going to the loo before the intermission
Cinema’s don’t even use the intermission system abroad – we’ve been gifted with a whole twenty-minute pee-and-poop break. Why, oh why, must your wretched silhouette invade my viewing pleasure at any other time than that designated break?
9. Sudden, piercing escalation of speaking voice
Normal decibals, normal decimals, normal decibals, OBSCENE-SCREAMING-SWEARING-SCOLDING-ATTACKING, normal decibals, normal decibals…