Most people get their shopping done in bulk, but some of us tend to forget half their list by the time they get to the supermarket. And that’s where the quaint Maltese corner grocers come in. Whatever it is you’ll need, they are guaranteed to have it, but it all comes with a hefty price.
Here’s a list of things you will learn as you wait in line at the grocer in Malta.
1. Patience is a virtue
This is one gift which the gods will bestow upon you that will be infinitely useful when you wait in line.
Not just any line, but the fathomable grocery store line. People will take it easy as a rule of thumb, and nobody is in a hurry to get home.
2. Being in line is like going to an anticlimactic battle
Have you seen the final battle scene in the LOTR saga? Now imagine that, but instead of ogres, you’ll get Maltese housewives.
Even if there’s only three people waiting in line, it will feel like a long-drawn battle with your own nerves. You’ll either get people taking it super slowly or some who really need to get out of line and stop talking.
3. Time seems to stop when you’re waiting there
It’s like everything outside of your personal sphere slows down by 50fps.
People in line are definitely moving way slower than you would, or maybe it’s just you?
4. Personal space guidelines are totally ignored
Elbow bumps, bag bumps, boob bumps, you name it my friend.
You’ll get bumped by body parts you didn’t even know existed when waiting in line at the store. Personal space is non-existent.
5. That candy over there looks super inviting all of a sudden
Maybe this is all a shrewd marketing scheme or whatever, but that shelf of weird chocolates seems super appetising all of a sudden.
Your hands really need to reach out and grab a snack, who knows how long you will be standing here? Might as well have a replenishing snack at hand, just in case.
6. People counting their change will drive you nuts
We get it; you don’t want to be screwed out of your five cents change, but is it really necessary to count it out as you block any possible access to the counter? Really?
7. People talk about literally everything
From psoriasis to divorce, every single topic will be touched on this line.
There’s no way in hell that you will be able to avoid listening to how Rita ta’ faċċata caught her son injecting marijuana. It’s also super entertaining.
8. You will reevaluate your need for groceries while in line
It takes so long that you start looking down at whatever it is you’re carrying and you’ll start contemplating whether or not you really need all this stuff.
Do you really need these sanitary towels? Can’t that cake you wanted to bake wait? Can life wait?
9. You will learn which brand of kunserva is best for your imaginary kids’ school lunch
People will snob over brands like there’s no tomorrow.
They’d rather go without a staple food than buy a different brands sometimes, and it’s super weird.
BONUS: People are actually super nice
Like, seriously nice.
Most times when you walk in to buy just one item, people will let you skip ahead of them. Even if they only have two items at hand. It’s amazing how much of an understanding community we live in sometimes. Cheers Malta!