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A (Brief) Beginner’s Guide To Maltese History Part 4: The Romans

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When it comes to history, Malta is one of the richest. Our weird colossal shenanigans range from stampeding children to death, throwing people off balconies, building competitive forts and covering the island in olive trees. 

We at Lovin Malta have taken the liberty of teaching you about your country’s heritage, and we will history your ass so hard you will need a diaper change after reading this. 

Last week we covered our new daddies, the Carthaginians. Which did not really last for that long, but they did alright. This week we have a new era to cover — one of opulence, luxury and olive oil for lube. 

The Roman era is of great importance to our island’s heritage and history. With it came Religious conversions, dangerous shipwrecks, public baths and sexy dictators. 

According to some Latin guy named Titus Livius, our island was taken over by the Romans at the start of the Second Punic War in 218 BC. 

Apparently, our Carthaginian overlords surrendered to the Romans — by this time we already had our own senate and coins though, so we were doing good by ourselves. Although we were kind of a municipal of Sicily, but still. We chill.

Mdina remained the social hub of the island, becoming a Roman city in no time. 

Not happy with what it looked like, they built a bunch of walls and some ditches around it for added protection. One can see evidence of these new cool guys at the Domvs Romana in Rabat which holds well-preserved Pompeian style structures minus the lava and ashes. 

We don’t know who the hell lived there, but considering how beautiful it looks, it was probably Roman Ċaqnu. Caqnvs.

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Throughout the Roman era, we adopted their language and religion, we spoke fluent Latin and adopted a great number of Roman deities. Some of their temples have even survived to this day, like Tas-Silġ.

According to this other guy, Diodorus Siculus, we were extremely wealthy and did a good job at building fancy statues and crafting mosaic floors. 

We were so hot that the acclaimed orator Cicero wanted to come here on voluntary exile. 

Well, as every single Maltese person knows, in about 60 AD this random guy called Paul stumbled upon our islands, marking the first ever record of an unwilling refugee stepping on our shores.

Presumably highly pissed off and soaking wet, Paul (of later saintly popularity) spent some time here, and his bassa friend Luke even called us ‘barbarians’. He was probably just jealous of our lush mosaic floors and marble statues though.

Contrary to popular belief, Paul did not really convert us. 

Historical evidence shows us that we spent at least till the third Century as Roman Pagans. So, yeah. 

Apparently, St. Paul stayed at St. Paul’s Catacombs for some time (duh), and the Romans didn’t really care because they tolerated religious diversity, them Romans did not give a fuck about your beliefs. We even had Jews and Pagans residing here without facing any hassle.

A bunch of Roman cisterns were also discovered near Birżebbuġa (you know, Malta’s Miami) which included olive crushers.

So apparently, the Romans found a good use for those olive trees the Carthaginians planted all over the fucking island at least. 

There’s also Roman remains down in Mellieħa, a road and some apiaries (because we do good when it came to honey too) and Roman Baths. We can also find remains of a Roman Villa in Żejtun, where they also like, did stuff with olive oil. 

Around the sixth Century AD these guys left, making way for our next homeboy gang bangin’ sexy daddies, the Byzantines.

Tag someone who’d love to read about those raving Romans

READ NEXT: What Malta’s Historic Moments Would Be Like If Internet Existed

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