You’re finally ready to move out of your parents’ house and start the rest of your life. And even though you’ve taken your sweet ass time to take a shot at adulting, you’re willing to make the most of it. But before you take the big plunge into buying your own property in Malta, know there are many things no one really tells you.

Sure, you’ve read all about MEPA permits, notoriously ODZ developments and might’ve even started some research on that looming bank loan. So here’s our realistic guide to buying property in Malta, to help you manage your expectations.

1. Property hunting is one exciting bitch

It’s just like window-shopping, only with bigger things, right? Well, not exactly. While it sure looks (and actually is) fun browsing the internet for your new home, the whole thing is one big anxiety bubble waiting to be popped. How do you decide where you’re going to spend the rest of your life? And what type of home justifies such an insane price tag?

Oh, and don’t get me started on the intense level of frustration when you find the perfect property and someone would’ve just bought it. That’s when you realise it’s not like window-shopping.

2. At least there’s viewings to look forward to… right?

Ah, walking into a place, doing a 360 degree turn, taking it all in and feeling like you’re some rich footballer touring his next LA mansion… Yeah, good luck with that.

90% of the time, the place you’re viewing and spending all your hard-earned money on (and the rest of your money for the next 30+ years) doesn’t even exist yet. It’s fine; just close your eyes and imagine you’re looking at yourself winding down on your sofa after a long day at work instead of the field / two-storey deep hole in front of you.

3. People will sit you down and patiently explain all the paperwork and money you need…

Yeah, but you still won’t get it. Wait so, there’s the notary fees, but those aren’t the same as the 10% deposit, but I have to pay them as well? And what’s the bolla again, and why do I have to pay that as well? And do I get a sanction letter to apply for the loan, or do I get a sanction letter because I applied for the loan? What’s happening? What is life?

4. You’ve signed the konvenju. Now, to wait…

And then wait some more. You might’ve put your name to a (painfully long) piece of document that says you’ve promised to buy the property, but don’t think the next step is moving in.

Cue planning the layout of the property, spending a lot of time (and money) on making said layout a reality, waiting for the developer to actually finish the property if you’ve bought it on plan. Oh and appointments with the bank. And yes, that means applying for the loan.

5. You’ll sleep soundly at night…

Except for the many times you’ll wake up sweating profusely wondering, “Wait, I need to pay how much every month?”

You better stock up on guidebooks on living on a budget, and you better make sure they’re pirated PDFs, because you won’t be able to afford stocking up your library any time soon.

You could have your finances down to a T, but good luck sleeping soundly for the rest of your adult life knowing a big chunk of your monthly salary will be vanishing into thin air through the walls of your new home.

And what if I lose my job sometime in the next four decades? Oh man, don’t get me started.

6. Nothing unexpected will happen

Ok, 3,594 unexpected things will happen. Got an estimated move-in date of December 2019? Ha, good luck walking in sometime in the next decade.

Whether it’s an unforeseeable act of God or a random mistake by a construction worker, something will nearly definitely always happen. And whether it’s postponing by a week or a month, good luck with your patient waiting.

7. You’ll finally move in…

But so will you parents. Wait, did you think you were going to finally kickstart independent life? In Malta? Cute.

Whether your new home is just down the road or on the other side of the island, get ready to see you parents nearly as often as you already used to. Oh, and cooking? Mama’s got that anyway. After all, she has some leftover minestra which I’m sure you’ll adore.

Tag a friend who’s currently house-hunting!

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David Grech Urpani

Lovin Malta's Head of Content, Dave has been in journalism for the better half of the last decade. Prefers Instagram, but has been known to doomscroll on TikTok. Loves chicken, women's clothes and Kanye West (most of the time).