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The Complete Set List For ‘Growing Up In Malta, The Musical’

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Growing up in Malta is a special and unique experience that only those of us who have lived through it can ever fully understand. But if there was ever a medium that could explain the emotions perfectly, a full-blown musical would probably be the closest to achieving this.

But what songs would feature in ‘Growing up in Malta, the Musical’? Well, here are nine suggestions to get us started.

1. Picking the item you were set up to choose at your Quċċija

Song: Bring Honour To Us All – Mulan

Whether it’s your dance-teacher aunt putting the brightest pair of ballet shoes into the mix, or your accountant-cousin trying to push the calculator your way, everyone is hoping you’ll pick their career path and they’ll have a protégé for life.

2. Watching as your parents pre-determine your future career based off your Common Entrance results

Song: Mother Knows Best – Tangled

“Maths u Science 80s ta! Perit ħa jsirli t-tifel.”

“Taf kemm marret tajjeb fl-Ingliż u l-Malti hux? Avukatessa in the making.”

3. Having your first sex-ed class in Form 4

Song: Hellfire – Hunchback

It’s all doom and gloom – did you ever have seen a breast?! HELLFIRE. Did you accidentally touch yourself in the shower?! It’s all over for you.

4. Starting Sixth Form and watching people from boys-only/girls-only schools interact

Song: The Internet Is For Porn

The interaction is alien; both want to impress each other and distance themselves from the weirdness in equal measures. 

5. When your Nanna talks about you getting into University

Song: Zero To Hero

No one is prouder of your achievements. From her friends at the boċċi club to the pigeons on the promenade, every chance she gets she’ll be praising your achievements (and embellishing them a bit along the way).

6. Coming back from a semester of Erasmus

Song: I’m Not Pregnant, I’m Just Fat

Maltese people are not used to living alone, so the second we have our own flat our calorie consumption skyrockets. You then have to spend the next few months explaining the extra kilos.

7. Getting your first job and hanging out with people outside your small circle of friends

Song: Everyone’s A Little Bit Racist

Seriously, everyone is and it’s so shocking when you first realise this.

8. Meeting a foreigner you like and trying to convince them your lifestyle/relationship with your parents is normal back in Malta

Song: Gay Or European – Legally Blonde (The Musical)

It’s not our fault we live at home till we’re 30 or married. Well, maybe it is our fault but still. Back home it’s not weird so stop looking at us like that.

9. Getting married, moving out and trying to be independent

Song: Stay With Me – Into The Woods

There’s no escaping the guilt. You could be married for ten years and still get asked if you need help with the laundry or if you’re eating enough.

What songs would you like to see? Tell us in thecomments on Facebook

READ NEXT: The Maltese Musical Tribes Of The 90s

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