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‘I’m Blacking Out’: TikTok Comedian James Ryder Takes Everyone On A Wild 20-Kilometre Walk Around Sliema

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Now that we’re entering 2021’s third week, have you managed to stick to your fitness resolutions? Well, a good way of making sure you’re held accountable is sharing your milestones with your friends and followers… unless you take it one extra step like TikTok comedian James Ryder just did.

“Attempting to walk 20 kilometres in one go,” Ryder shared on Facebook last night, as most of us were getting back from work or tucking in for a bit of cosy Netflix and chilling.

“Might make it. Might cut it short. Might go into cardiac arrest. I’ll check in every 5km or so.”

What followed was a breathtaking saga (quite literally) that saw Ryder update his friends and followers as the nighttime walk got progressively tougher.

All you need to do to read the whole thing is to check out the comments under Ryder’s initial post… but here’s a couple of highlights.

“Ok I’m 5km in, going strong,” he posted as he hit his first milestone, sharing a photo of him wide-eyed but still determined.

“I basically walk from Spinola to Tigne over and over,” for anyone wondering. And there were quite a lot of people wondering – especially considering 20 kilometres is nearly the length of the entire island.

But as he got halfway there, Ryder started posting more desperate updates and photos, from him trying to catch a breath to barely-coherent comments.

“Ankles weakening”, “back moisture has now seeped through hoodie”, “we soldier on” were some of the comments that quickly showed up.

“Oxygen. Getting. Thing. Final push,” Ryder posted… just before observing that “my sack is two friction rubs away from completely sous vide-ing my tenders”.

Four hours later, people finally received the update they were waiting for; the completion of the grand walk… a total of 21.14 kilometres.

“Unfortunately I miscalculated my route meaning I’m a good kilometre away from home,” Ryder posted after 11pm. “Looks like we’re going for a half-marathon. I’m blacking out. Majority of inhale content is carbon dioxide.”

By the end of it all, Ryder had managed to entertain and inspire dozens of readers. “Hats off James,” one of his friends congratulated him. “Walking is so underestimated. Keep it up dude.”

“I was super excited because I walked 5 kilometres yesterday,” another said. “Kinda shat on my thunder!”

Tag someone who needs to check this out for a dash of inspiration!

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Sarcastically ironic, Dave is a recovering hipster musician with a penchant for chicken, women's clothes and Kanye.

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