In many a Maltese household, Christmas is a time of gift-giving, celebration, and bringing the family together. The latter, of course, makes for the perfect opportunity to be on the receiving end of thinly-veiled insults and a healthy dose of passive-aggressive remarks.

Read up, roll up your sleeves, and get ready for your yearly festive interrogation with a few quickly-worded replies.  

1. “Interessanti dik il-libsa…”

The literal translation would be “oh, what a bold choice of clothing…” Once you’ve filtered out the copious layers of overlying bullshit, you’ll find the true meaning of this phrase to be more along the lines of “what the bloody hell are you wearing, you whore.”

Clap-back of choice: “Thanks! Isn’t that your grandmother’s dress?”

2. “Trid ftit iktar dundjan? Inti tiflaħ għall-platt ieħor.“

To put it mildly: “You’re fat. You can totally handle another helping of turkey.”

Clap-back of choice: “At least I can lose weight after New Year’s. What can you do about your face?”

3. “I didn’t want this Playstation game!”

There’s always at least one spoiled-rotten demon spawn in the family. And if you can’t suss them out, odds are it’s you. 

Clap-back of choice: “Well, your parents didn’t plan on having you either, but there we go.”

4. “You need to get your life together. When I was your age, I’d already settled down and started a family!”

Rein in the rage-rant building up within you about 2017’s life goal standards and sit back and enjoy this tidbit. 

Clap-back of choice: “It’s not like you had a choice. Didn’t they announce your engagement over Reddifusion?”

5. “Ma nafx ta, you should get a job. Ħallik milli tmur tagħmel Masters!”

Deep breath in, deep breath out. 

Clap-back of choice: “Ma nafx ta, you should stop pretending you’re a ‘single parent’ for tax benefits.”

6. “You look like you filling out.”

Oh no you didn’t…

Clap-back of choice: “Really? Can’t say the same thing about that hairline of yours.”

7. “U ajma, stop being so dull. Where’s your sunny personality?”

Did you just reprimand me for having resting bitch face?

Clap-back of choice: “Where’s your husband?”

8. “I heard you didn’t do so well in your exams. Jaqaw you’re struggling?”

I see your shade and raise you a black hole. 

Clap-back of choice: “Yep. Just like your marriage.”

9. “Xi dwejjaq! Where did you get this attitude from, you’re being completely unbearable today!”

Again, what’s with the resting bitch face hate?

Clap-back of choice: “Mela just like this mqarrun il-forn. Where did you get this recipe from?”

Can you think of any more? Clap back in the merriest way possible in the comments section below!

Tag a friend with resting bitch face

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Matthew Baldacchino

Self-titled resident SJW and expressionless in-house Head of Internal Marketing. Matt loves prepping vegan and vegetarian food, consumes way too much coffee, and has an unhealthy penchant for storyboarded Instagram Stories. When he's not trying to figure out social media policies, marketing strategies or cracking SEO conundrums, you can catch him as the host of Basically, Livestream Of Consciousness or Lovin Daily. Hit him up if you've got a story about the environment, arts and culture, health, politics and activism, or LGBTQI+ issues. He's also a doctor, but we don't talk about that.