When It Comes To Being Grateful, Malta Might Have A Problem
Photos: Albert Camilleri
The third and final TEDxUniversityOfMalta Salon for this season has come to an end, and left attendees with more food for thought than ever. The topic was Instant Gratification, a timely topic if there ever was one in 2018.
To help shed light on whether modern Maltese society has an issue with the way it gets pleasure, Dr Nicholas Briffa, psychologist, lecturer at the University of Malta and sexologist, as well as Dr Andrew Agius, family doctor and founder of The Pain Clinic, joined in on the discussion.
1. Modern culture is making us less grateful
Dr Briffa started off by explaining that the way we obtain what we desire and define pleasure is changing due to the rise of technology and the modern world. Before we would turn to our community, our family, and our partners for happiness.
They would be a major source of joy in life. But nowadays, there are many possible sources of joy in life, and it is really easy to lose sight of what truly makes you happy.
2. And people may be looking for validation and love in the wrong places
People used to get validation from their surrounding loved one. If they got a new haircut, they wouldn’t receive praise for it until they went into their kitchen or to their community.
Nowadays, you can get it online. The thing is, your loved ones are the ones you should really be paying attention to, and it is their validation that will truly make you feel confident in yourself.
3. We have a fascination with “being busy”
The fact pace of society means that people are praised if they are always busy. They don’t have time for anything but work. Some Maltese people are even happy to admit that they’d forego sex if it means they get an extra zero at the end of their bank account.
4. And no surprise, but social media isn’t making you any happier
Social media gets a lot of things wrong. Dr Briffa referred to studies that showed that couples that upload more photos of themselves together are often the most insecure. He also warned about the slippery slope of using likes and attention online to supplement real connections – a like on Facebook releases a spurt of dopamine in the brain, so watch out for becoming addicted to those likes.
5. Though society may be more sexualised, but we are having less sex
Even though sex is everywhere, Maltese people are having less sex than ever. And this isn’t only a local phenomenon – it’s happening in countries all over the world. The rise of easily accessible pornography and dating apps like Tinder also contribute to a culture of quick, short-lasting love that leads nowhere.
6. Our physical boundaries have gotten all messed up
An interesting point brought up in the discussion was how society was literally losing touch with touch – in some cases, even criminalising the act of touch.
Touch between people is a central part of the human experience, and being afraid of it, having a lack of it, or sexualising it is not healthy. Sometimes, a simple meaningful hug can make all the difference to a person.
7. But there is hope – you just need to be more mindful
Being in the here and now is harder than it sounds. But being able to keep your mind off of work, away from your smartphone, and actually focus on what the person in front of you is saying could lead to a beautiful, meaningful conversation – the likes of which you probably won’t find online.
Do you think society has a problem with delaying gratification?
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