The show thrust its contestants into the limelight, which led to scrutiny over their actions and decisions outside of the villa.

Within the villa, though, it led to an interesting dynamic – in some ways mirroring the realities of contemporary dating life.

“At the start of the show, you’re chosen based off your looks – which is sort of like swiping left or right in real life,” said Chelsea.

“I think the modern dating scene is superficial,” said Maia. “The whole concept of people being online, swiping left or right, to me it just seems very superficial. I get that physical attraction is important, but it doesn’t sit right that its the only factor.”

“Its impossible to make a profile and capture the entirety of who a person is,” added Mariah.

“Another thing I don’t like is that apps like Tinder gives you a lot of options, maybe too many options, and it’s difficult to know when to stop, maybe even settle.”

Though the concept of “settling,” to some, might sound defeatists, there’s definitely something to be said for knowing when to stop searching, and learn more about a person.

“These apps are time consuming,” continued Mariah. 

“I am on these apps. The only bad thing I see is the waste of time. It’s better than swiping through instagram reels, and I have made friends off Tinder, but I do understand they’re superficial, and that can be a problem.”

“I also think that… well, I love the effort. I feel like Tinder decreases the effort. I feel like the convenience has killed the romance.”

Chelsea pushed back slightly against this discussion. 

“I’ve got a lot of friends who’ve made lasting relationships through Tinder, but I do think that one of the problems we’re facing is that romance is dead.”

“One red flag, for me, is when they drop you off, and they drive away before you go inside. See you later. It’s the little things, we’re not asking for a lot.  Just wait until I’m inside. Goes a long, long way, it really does.”

Maia then brought up an issue she believes is impacting the dating world significantly. 

“The number one issue to me, is the porn industry. There’s an unrealistic standard that a lot of men have bought into. They’re watching people have sex and their hair is flawless, their makeup is perfect, their vagina is stripped – ”

“Not a single hair on that body,” interjected Sasha.

“And fair enough,” agreed Maia, “if you don’t want to have hair, fine. Even males, they feel like they have to have a big penis, or a six pack.”

“These standards are becoming so common in our society that when you don’t have that thing it changes your perspective, and it can make dating and more difficult. As a woman you’re expected to kick your leg up in the air, start doing summersaults.”

“Sex is supposed to be relaxed, it’s supposed to be intimate.”

This conversation spilled over into another, serious discussion about toxic and abusive relationships – which had been endured, to different extents, by all of the show’s guests.

“I felt like I didn’t want anyone in the world but him,” said Chelsea.

“When you get too entangled with a narcissist, its extremely difficult to get out, because they make you question yourself and your actions, not them and theirs.”

“Have you noticed a difference between the UK and Malta?” asked Sasha.

“I find that here, there’s a lot of controlling. For both men and women, the biggest things I’ve felt really uncomfortable about is the joined facebook accounts. When I first got here, if they told me I can’t go to Paceville without them, I wouldn’t go.”

“If they told me that in the UK I’d have been like, ‘fuck off’. If I wanted to cheat on you, I could cheat on you at the supermarket, doesn’t have to be a club.”

“I’ve had people call me boring for not wanting to have sex,” added Mariah.

“The men that approach me, there’s no such thing as going on a date and taking things slow, then after a month you’re taking things further. It feels like that died out.”

“If I’m not in love with you, I don’t want to experience that with you. It kind of breaks my heart, honestly.”

Sasha then pinpointed one of the things making it so difficult to get out of a toxic situation.

“You paint a more positive picture of the relationship when you speak to your friends and your family – because you’re trying to convince them and yourself that things are okay, that you’re happy.”

Maia agreed. Based off her own experiences, she now knows what not to do.

“If you feel like you’re crazy, ask for help. If you feel like your feelings are invalid, especially in a relationship, ask for help. I really didn’t do that. I used to bottle it up, I thought I was crazy. When you feel alone, ask for help.”

Listening to the conversation between these four women is inspiring not just because it feels like getting first-hand insight into experiences that are rarely shared publicly, but because it is clear that each of them felt confident, safe, and secure in the clear delineation of their personal boundaries and preferences. 

Now that The She Word – Young Women’s Edition season one is nearing its close, it feels appropriate to thank all of those who shared their experiences on the show.

You make the world a better, more interesting, more supportive and respectful place by opening up and pushing back against the antiquated rules and expectations which have stifled the lives and potential of far too many.

Looking forward to season two!

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