The 12 Faces Everyone In Malta Makes When They’re Running Low On Petrol
Everyone knows that to survive in Malta, you need a car. What everyone seems to forget is that for your car to survive, you need to refuel it, even if you really don’t feel like. Here are the 12 stages everyone goes through when they leave it a little too long.
1. The ‘low fuel’ light goes on and it’s got your attention
I see you, calm yourself. I filled up the tank like, last week.
2. You smugly assume you’ve got plenty of kilometers before it gives up the ghost
It literally just went on – I got this.
3. You decide the trip to the bank isn’t worth the hassle so you risk one more journey
Maybe my next destination will have a closer ATM.
4. But Malta’s hills make good use of your lower gears
And so the last few drops you were holding onto begin to fade.
5. You map out your conversation with your parents about how they’re going to have to bring a jerrycan and funnel it into your car
“Hiiii pa! Isma…”
6. The second you’re parked you resign yourself to the fact that you cannot procrastinate any longer
Fuel over drive-thru; there is no longer a choice.
7. You hop in your car to return home, switch on your engine and watch as the fuel meter doesn’t budge
Maybe it’s just broken?
8. You return to being the devout catholic you once were
Dear God, if you’re listening…
9. You resent the nanniet out for an adorable drive in front of you
Please choose a gear above second, thanks.
10. You start being the car-owner’s version of a hypochondriac
Does my car smell like burning? Why is it suddenly so hard to drive? Have I ruined it forever?
11. You desperately hope the machine takes your money
Why are you spitting out my €10? It’s crisp and clean. Must I squash it? Do you want me to line it with glitter
12. You drive away from the petrol station feeling like you’re in a brand new ride
Everything just works so smoothly… that lingering smell also makes things a little bit sweeter.
