8 Video Game Characters That Might As Well Be Maltese

It's canon, trust us

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Have you ever been playing a video game and had a personality deja vu on one of the characters? Maltese people aren't really represented well in video games, but some of our more defining characteristics are key points in many of our faves. 

Here are eight examples of characters that have made us stop and think 'dak Malti żgur'.

1. Doran the Volus - Mass Effect

In a world of tall, elegant aliens living it up on The Citadel the Volus stand out as the most relatable to the Maltese, and Doran is the perfect ambassador of this. The owner of a club featuring some 'exotic dancers', Doran also likes to get into the grove and cut up a rug himself when the rhythm (or the booze) takes him.

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2. Ana - Overwatch

The team's nanna who loves to force-feed some heals or tuck enemies into bed, but she'll always do it with an extra heavy dose of sass. Sounds pretty Maltese to us.

From her voice line announcing "it takes a woman to know" and snapping at the rest of her team with a classic "children, behave", Ana is equal parts scary, sassy and loveable.

Overwatch  Ana Amari By Darantha Daznslj

3. GLaDOS - Portal

If we described a nosy neighbour who was inconvenienced by everything they saw (even though they were the one snooping), bitched about every decision you took and promised you cake but never coughed- would you think of anyone other than a Maltese neighbour?

GLaDOS would fit right in with Mary, Maria and Salvina from down the street.

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4. Varric Tethras - Dragon Age

A stout character who sings the praises of their friends while also heavily amplifying their role in the successful outcome, Varric is every Maltese person after a wild night out. 

Also: that gold chain.


5. Pac Man 

Constantly eating and running from ghosts, Pac Man is literally all of us at any given time. And when we actually get some fruit in us, we too feel strangely more powerful than usual.

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6. Terence - Angry Birds

We're just gonna let the image do the talking here. If you pretend for even a second that Terrance doesn't look like someone you've seen in Malta, probably sitting on the għatba - you're lying.

Abmovie Terence

7. Aryan La Valette - The Witcher

Firstly, that last name is all we really need to make the connection. But putting that aside La Valette's claim to fame is a babbling few seconds at the start of some big, dramatic moment, and the chance to be silenced (killed) within the first few seconds of the video game despite having the potential to be quite influential. Sounds about right.

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8. Paladin Danse - Fallout 4

A sweet character who is fiercely loyal to his political cause and is only just learning about the meaning of humour. The real Maltese kicker is that he is actually a lot more closely related to the 'race' he blindly hates. 

Nothing like a sense of unintentional irony to make something truly Maltese.


Bonus: The Lemmings

Blindly following others into dangerous situations unless otherwise stopped? Running around with not much to do while one or two carry out all the construction works? They're not an individual character, but they are extremely Maltese.


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Written By

Chucky Bartolo

If there's no Mariah Carey GIF or reference to Eurovision in this article, just assume they've been edited out against my will.