15 Classic Stages Of Dancing At A Maltese Wedding
Weddings are literally made for Maltese people. The food, the booze, the cheesy music… But everyone knows the best part of a wedding is the pure unadulterated joy of dancing at peak drunkenness. If you’ve ever been to a Maltese wedding, you’re going to recognise at least half of these inevitable stages.
1. It starts with everyone bobbing their heads to the warmup band…
…while guzzling down the wedding gift’s financial worth in alcohol
2. Eventually everyone gathers around the couple for their first dance a.k.a. the most awkward moment of their lives
3. When the awkwardness gets too much, the bride calls in her friends, who are loyally standing by the her side and ready to cause a distraction
4. FREAKOUT! Everybody dances blissfully for a few short minutes, the best part of a wedding. Every. Single. Time.
5. The guys suddenly lose their ties (with some insisting on using them to lure their shier halves in)
6. The women swap their heels for shoes they can actually move around in
7. Everybody starts sweating
8. Some more than others
9. The suit jackets disappear and shirt sleeves are rolled up
10. The deejay plays Baila Morena and everyone is suddenly Zucchero
11. Summer of 69 comes on and some guy gets on his knees playing air guitar
12. Everyones huddles together from the first note of Xemx Wisq Sabiha
13. And the entire song is sung in pure endless joy
14. Then things dissipate a little and half the crowd goes out for a cigarette
15. Until Vespa 50 Special is heard and everyone is back on the dancefloor having the time of their lives
