11 Ready-To-Use Excuses For Maltese People To Ditch Plans
With the most stressful week of the year behind us (don’t pretend the flashy lights and mulled wine can mask the exhaustion of 50 social events spread across five days), it’s frustrating to remember that some people will still insist on hosting events in January.
Just in case you’re not in the mood for being around people for the next, well ever, here’s a list of viable excuses you can use to ditch your plans.
1. “I can’t fit through my front door after Christmas!”
Tis the season… to eat your weight in Christmas log. Trust us, nobody will be shocked you’ve gained a couple (of hundreds) of kilos.
2. “My nanna pulled the ‘minjaf inkunx hawn is-sena ddieħla’ card!”
Everyone knows that nanniet are skilled travel agents when it comes to sending you on guilt trips.
3. “My cousin from Australia is over for the weekend!”
“Which cousin?”
“Tom from Sydney.”
“Didn’t he visit last Tuesday?”
“No… that was John from Melbourne.”
4. “Ira Losco Hasn’t posted a selfie all day, and I’m legit worried!”
I must know what flavor of magnum she’s eating in the studio today.
5. “I’m sorry I’m attending an impromptu protest!”
This excuse only weeks if you hang up seconds before they have time to ask you what you’re protesting. If they take the time to check out your excuse, there’s a solid 90% chance they’ll find anti-government some sit-in happening somewhere.
6. “I don’t know how to turn off the Christmas tree and the whole house will explode if I don’t!”
Everyone who grew up in a Maltese household knows the fear of impromptu Christmas-tree fires is real.
7. “I’m caught in an endless loop of watching Joseph Muscat’s end-of-year video!”
I will learn the complex moves if it’s the last thing I do.
8. “I have to map out five generations of my ancestry for my new significant other’s mother!”
Also – it’s kind of for me. Cos I don’t want to date a cousin, no matter how distant.
9. “I ordered clothes from Asos last November and want to be here when the postman arrives!”
Honestly, there’s no way I’m picking up this parcel from the Post Office, let alone Marsa. And I can’t bear the thought of my espadrilles being sent back to the UK.
10. “My body is running entirely on salad and I don’t have the energy to go outside!”
Post-holiday diets are serious, and I only plan on breaking it like, next week.
11. “My mother said it might rain some time this week!”
And we all know the Maltese do not function when wet.
