People who work in call centres have a lot of shit to deal with – and their job is very often thankless (to say the least). The ‘types of annoying customers who call in’ is a whole other list just waiting to happen. But despite all this sometimes as a customer all you want is someone to understand your problem and help you through it, instead what you get is:
1. The ones who listen to every detail of your problem before asking you to repeat it to a completely different person
At least you’ve rehearsed your complaint by then
2. The ones who keep testing you with passwords and transaction history even when they know you’re the real customer
No, I cannot remember the exact amount of the cheque I deposited three weeks ago. Who else would put themselves through this nightmare anyway?
3. The ones who put you on hold 20 times because they have no answers
Emm. Tini ċans ħa nsaqsi. Tippermetili sekonda? Please hold the line sir.
4. The unnecessarily-eager-beavers: “Is there anything else I can help you with? Are you sure? Anything else you want to know?”
Especially annoying when they haven’t solved the problem you actually called about.
5. The ones who answer in Maltese when you speak to them in English
Why did you ask me to choose a language in the first place?
6. The ones who use incredibly formal English
“Moreover, you will have to purchase an alternative bundle if you so desire.”
7. The ones who can only tell you to switch it on and off
“Heqq, li tista tgħamel, itfiha u erġ’ ixelha.” or “Ippruvajt tgħamel reboot?”
8. The ones who refuse to send help
I’ve been calling for four days! Send someone to fix this fucking modem. “Ippruvajt tgħamel reboot?”
9. The ones who deny the service is shit
Hawnhekk kollox jidher tajjeb eh. Min naħa tagħna owkej.
10. The ones you think are real only to realise they’re automated responses
“Thank you for calling but our lines are busy at the moment”