So, we’re on the third day of 2019. How many of you have already broken your resolution to eat healthier? It’s okay, I didn’t even make it past the first day. That’s why you need to do your self esteem a favour and not set yourself such impossible standards in the first place.
Instead, here are 13 resolutions Maltese people should take up that don’t include avoiding pastizzi or worrying about summer bods.
1. Reduce your plastic waste
2018 was the year of shouting about how bad plastic is, but now it’s time to put that into action. Take your canvas bags and Tupperware containers to the grocery store, carry a reusable water bottle and thermos with you, and for God’s sake, refuse those straws! Buy a good liquid lipstick if you’re that worried about smudging it on your glass. You don’t need a straw.
2. Get off your phone
Leave your mobile in your bag when you’re at dinner or in the theatre… Facebook can wait. Dedicate your full attention to your surroundings and the people you are with. You can stalk your ex on Instagram when you get home.
3. Use your car less
Look, as a relatively recently-licensed driver, I get it.
Driving is so much more convenient. But there are so many reasons to not use your car all the time. Walking and cycling can be relaxing and are saviours to the environment, public transport (with all its faults) is readily available, and if all else fails, carpooling is just a lot more fun than driving alone!
4. Stop rolling your eyes
As a population, Maltese people aren’t the most patient of the lot.
But rolling our eyes has become a habit that’s so common, we don’t even realise we’re doing it. And what’s worse is that we pass it on to our kids and all the young ones around us, teaching them that it’s OK.*
*But it’s OK if your rolled your eyes reading this. I forgive you.
5. Stop smoking
I’m not even going to explain this one.
Smoking stopped being cool five years ago. You can do it, I believe in you.
6. Stop swearing
We’re blessed with two official languages here in Malta, our choice of descriptors is endless!
Challenge yourself to be more creative with your choice of words. Not everything has to be “fucking annoying”.
Exceptionally? Strikingly? Acutely? The world is your oyster.
7. Decrease your sugar intake
Cut out the colas and the biscuits. Snack on some raisins and juice instead. Your body and your teeth will thank you soon enough.
8. Go to therapy
2019 is the year we get our shit together, collectively and individually.
Deal with your anger management and inability to form meaningful relationships. New year, new you.
9. Be creative and make more art
Whether your poison of choice is creative writing or music or making sock puppets, dedicate some time this year to letting your creative juices flow.
10. Get your health checks done
Go to the gynaecologist, go to the dentist, get your prostate checked.
Your body is a temple my dudes, keep it in check.
11. Donate everything
Clean out your wardrobe and get rid of those clothes you never wear by donating them to a charity shop.
Donate your blood to help save a life. Donate some money to Noah’s Ark. Make someone’s 2019 a little bit better.
12. Get off the petty train
No more spite parking battles with your neighbour. No more leaving dirty dishes in the sink just to piss off your mum. No more snide remarks to your ex’s new girlfriend about how dated her outfit is. No more leaving ‘holier-than-thou’ hate comments on social media.
13. Reconnect with an old friend
Despite our puny size, it can be easy to lose contact with people in Malta.
Life moves fast, and over a summer, your secondary school friends are quickly overshadowed by your sixth form friends, and then you start university and half of you move abroad and you go from being inseparable to forgetting each other’s birthdays.
Send your secondary school buds a message to let them know you still think of them. Go and grab a coffee. Or a cocktail. Whatever tickles your fancy.