18 Thoughts Every Maltese Person Has When It Rains
As Malta prepares for another rainy week (aka another week of pointless Facebook statuses) most people on the island go through the same thought process. With an average of 300 days of sunshine a year, a rainy day can be quite eventful. Here’s 18 things everyone always thinks.
1. ‘Yay! Winter is here and my body is ready’
We’ve waited patiently through months of heatwaves; the time for rain is finally here.
2. ‘Ok, time to calm down weather’
Wow, it’s really pouring out there huh? Can’t Malta do anything in moderation?
3. ‘RIP Msida friends’
It’s been fun, but with that much rain…. they’re dead. Like, for sure.
4. ‘I’m not doing that’
The same thought every Maltese person, and for some reason every Maltese business, has when they see the first signs of rain.
5. ‘I hope I closed all my windows’
I closed the window in the back room like three days ago… has anyone opened it since? I hope not.
6. ‘I hope that one window that always leaks isn’t a little bitch today’
Why you gotta do me like this, shitty aluminium?
7. ‘I’d better plan two hours ahead to avoid traffic’
Even then I’ll probably be late.
8. ‘I hope flooding across the island isn’t too bad’
Our roads weren’t designed for this much water, I hope things don’t get too dangerous.
9. ‘But let’s just see if Facebook has any cool pictures of Birkirkara underwater’
You know… for science and stuff.
10. ‘I should write a hilarious status…’
But everyone’s already done that
11. ‘I should write a status about hating ‘it’s raining’ statuses’
But then I’m just contributing to the pointless weather posts.
12. ‘I should write a status about the vicious cycle of actual raining vs hating raining statuses’
Yes, this is the one.
13. ‘Is my job worth it?’
Can’t I just stay in bed and do… well… nothing?
14. ‘This must be the coldest year on record’
Every year we forget what the previous winter was like because we’re spoiled with glorious almost-year-round weather, so every year we complain because the temperature drops below 20.
15. ‘Is that rainwater or sewage?’
Maybe if I squint I can see what’s floating along and make a calculated guess.
16. ‘I hope it’s rainwater cos that asshole driver just soaked me’
Wet socks suck, went entire outfit…? Take me home.
17. ‘Should even bother with an umbrella?’
It’ll either get blown away by Malta’s insane winds… or I’ll have to carry it around all day which is even more of an inconvenience.
18. ‘Will my car make it home?’
Will my wipers continue to function? Will I find a pothole puddle that takes me to meet a sea monster at the centre of the Earth? Who knows.
BONUS: ‘Did I bring in the clothes?’
Whether you took them out yourself, or it was the one thing your mother asked you to do, you’d better hope you remembered to take in the clothes.