There are many things they don’t teach you at school, like the joys of gluten intolerance and how one fine day you will go to bed at 26 and boom, wake up and you’re 30.
There are some subtle and other not-so-subtle differences between a woman’s 20’s and a woman’s 30’s. Here are but a few of them.
1. Scenario: PV?
Now that you’re 30 and it’s finally Saturday again, there’s nothing you’d rather be doing less than going out (‘OUT out’, not ‘out out’) and that includes stabbing your toes with a fork on a cold winter’s day. It’s 8pm and you’re nodding off. If you don’t get a solid 8 hours of sleep, your body will crumble at work on Monday, which is in two days time. #Aħsiblu.
20’s: Pee Vee? Is that a rhetorical question? (Followed by a hairdresser’s appointment, three excited phone calls and raiding ‘The Ferries’ for a new outfit.)
30’s: Pee xiex?
2. Scenario: Outfit Choice
This used to be a vehicle by which to express your personality and true self. Now it’s a challenge for how closely you can replicate the feeling of being in bed whilst outside.
20’s: ‘I’m invincible.’ (Goes out in a skimpy outfit in winter.)
30’s: ‘Ħa nilbislu għax haw xeba mard bħalissa!’ (Wears 300 denier opaque thermal tights under trousers, an ushanka (Russian earflap hat from online Soviet store), thermal vest mingħand JB, scarf and mittens. That one time you have to go out, that is.
3. Scenario: Dieting
Remember that Wudy sausage roll and pizza slice (‘Minn ta’ ħdejn Fuego’) you used to get at 4am after a night out? Hahahah yeah gone forever.
20’s: I’ve just eaten two burgers and a packet of Haribo. Think I’ve lost a stone. Haha.
30’s: I’ve been on a diet a month and the only thing I’ve lost is my will to live.
4. Scenario: Dating
A 20-year old woman will fall for good looks and charm, whereas the 30-year old self is much harder to impress. She knows what she wants and certainly, what she doesn’t. At some point during any first date, the following subjects will be subtly brought up; steady job? List of exes? Philosophical views? Mother-in-law’s mental health?
20’s: You play the guitar? So single!
30’s: Did you bring your CV?
5. Scenario: Conversation Topics
Talking to friends doesn’t ever go away, but the nature of conversations will change.
20’s: OMG I got off with Lucas.
30’s: The kitchen counter I ordered is marble.
But fret not, 20-something-year-olds! Being 30 is genuinely not at all doom and gloom which is what it may seem to be right now. There are things to look forward to, such as not looking for validation from others; at 30, you will probably care much less about what people think about you.
You’ve gained a sense of self-acceptance which in turn, gives you heaps amount of freedom and x’għalabiebekness.