7 NYE Statuses You'll See On Every Maltese Newsfeed

New year, same shit

Newsfeed Cover

1. "Narakhom is-sena ddieħla!"

Ok Pa, that's enough Facebook for one day.

Eyeroll

2. "It's just a night like every other night - calm down"

Ok Mr Cynical Hipster, time to go sit in the corner playing Brikkuni on loop.

Wow

3. "Who's going to be my midnight kiss?"

Ok lonely, with a public declaration like that the most likely answer is 'no one' (or that creep with zero mutual friends you added last week).

Ew

4. "Can't wait to focus on me this year"

Ok Sarah, can't wait to see how many selfies you post this year, if last year you weren't focusing on yourself.

Pardon

5. A long, emotional, heartfelt message liked by three people

Including said person's mother

Ok Shakespeare, time to put down the bottle wine and do more dancing and less reflecting. 

Lonely

6. A long, emotional, heartfelt message liked by hundreds of people

All of whom want/need something

Ok Gandhi, your status about fighting for a better 2017 is just going to be a cringey Facebook Memory in three year's time.

Fake

7. A status directly addressing the year

Dear 2017, please...

Ok Jane Austen, it's time to close your Poetry for Dummies book and go outside for a bit. How does that sound?

No

BONUS: New year, new me

I.e. new year, same shit, just a lot more pretending you're grown.

Bonus

Tag someone guilty of these in the comments on Facebook!

READ NEXT: 9 One-Off Resolutions For Maltese People In 2017

Written By

Chucky Bartolo

If there's no Mariah Carey GIF or reference to Eurovision in this article, just assume they've been edited out against my will.

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