Original Photo by Steve Maraspin
Yes, it’s soon summer time, and you should be excited. But along with all the positives that come with enjoying your summer, unfortunately there are also a few negatives.
We’re not here to damper any moods, but we feel like we need to point out one, or two (or seven) things that you should prepare for these coming months in Malta. Enjoy… ish.
1. The amount of people on the beach
You know that feeling you get, the one when you have a proper day off. A day you’ve been looking forward to, a day you say you’ll spend relaxing on the beach.
Imagine that feeling washing away as you arrive to your designated beach, only to have it flooded with people. You try to find any millimetre of space to place your towel down, but as your feet start scorching on the sand, all the hope you had is melting away.
2. Sticking to people on the bus
For the people that are taking busses in summer, we offer our deepest condolences. The outright pain of rubbing into another person, and your sweat mixing together… the thought is enough to have you rushing home for your 12th shower of the day. We pray that all the busses will have their air conditioners fully functional. We pray. We pray.
3. Drunk tourist returning home at 8am
Is there anything less appealing than going out in the morning, and by your side stumbling home you have some tourist drunk off their face?
We get it; you’re enjoying yourself on holiday. I’m not.
The curse for our summer hubris. There is almost nothing worse than enjoying yourself on the beach and in the sea and being suddenly hit with the pain of what feels like a thousand needles penetrating your skin and causing it to irritate.
Scraping the infected area with a credit card will help remove the tentacles and stop the stinging, but good luck recovering your hurt spirits.
Stop pissing on your friends arms, get out your wallets!
5. The heat
Jesus Christ, the heat.
Sure, it’s great for the first few days after a gruelling winter. But God forbid the electricity goes off at home, and you’re left without the air conditioner or fans. Sit in your bath and just wait to create a pool from your sweat.
Of course traffic, it’s always horrible, but in summer it’s something else.
This is summer hot traffic. When you get into your car, and it feels like you’re in the new circle of hell created just for this very specific scenario. When your steering wheel is so hot, it’s melting your finger tips. When your brain is frying, your AC is adamant on blowing out only hot air, and the person in front of you can’t drive.
7. Sand everywhere
In every single place you can imagine, sand will be there.
After your fifth shower after going to the beach, it’ll still be in your hair. After analysing every inch of your car under microscopic detail and cleaning every nook and cranny, it will be there. Mocking you, forever by your side.