7 Yuppie Friends You'll Meet In A Maltese Wine Bar

Tgħid we get another bottle?

Eating Out

Feature Photo: Sinned Photography

Being an adult in Malta isn't all it's cracked up to be. But one of the main pros of being an adult is observing your adult friends taking different adult life paths. 

Now that wine bar season is almost upon us, we'd like to reintroduce a few characters you'll be sharing Maltese sausage and Sangre De Toro with until the end of March. Chin chin!

1. The Career Change

Last time I checked this guy was working at his father's auditing firm. Now he's "in property". He arrived late because he was  taking down numbers of townhouses for sale in Bormla. Up and coming ta. Taf li they're building a University? Xeba Saudis man.


2. The Mahk'ting

Man, mahk'ting is much deeper than you think ta. You need to know your audience. Malta's changed. London's past it. Co-working is over. It's all about remote. It's all in the typography. Print media makes up like 10%. Less ansi.


3. The Celebrity One

You always knew she was going to be successful. Since school, she always "had it". Now ever since that perfume campaign her followers are in the thousands. But she doesn't buy them. Some people do but she doesn't. 


4. The One With The House

Last weekend she spent the whole weekend sanding the wrought iron staircase. The whole staircase. She didn't even go out ta. The whole weekend. The whole staircase.

My Oh My

5. The Doctor

You haven't seen him in...how long was it now? Ages ago. Last time you needed him to check out that "thing" you had. He's always busy at the hospital so now is your chance to ask about that other thing, before he leaves early. As usual.


6. The Health Nut

You remember the better times when you two would devour slices of Paceville pizza like there's no tomorrow. Now you want to punch them for asking if they can have their own "individual" "vegan Maltese platter". No gluten free galletti? Ah ok forget it mela.


7. The Newly Single

This time last year you were discussing the table setting for their spring wedding. What you should have been discussing were her fiancées underlying infidelity issues. Pass the wine. 

All The Wine

Do you recognise any of these friend types? Tag them in the comments on Facebook!

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Written By

Nicole Parnis

Nicole Parnis is a writer and self-confessed pop culture geek with a penchant for vinyl records and porcelain cat ornaments.