Winter has come, gone and kind of come again in Malta, but all around the world, it’s still a couple of dozen degrees below zero thanks to the much-awaited arrival of Game of Thrones’ final season. And as we slowly live out week two of Season 8 in what has increasingly become a spoiler-infested landscape, we’ve decided to do something a bit different.
As more and more GIFs from the last season crop up everywhere, we’ve decided to take a couple of moments from last Sunday’s episode out of context and apply them to situations many Maltese people have gone through in their life at least once before (or sort of).
Why? Because this will help us talk about GOT without spoiling anything… and because sometimes, life in Malta can only really be described in the context of a turbulent, centuries-long fantasy saga full of violence, pettiness and incest.
Warning: only half-spoilers ahead.
1. When you haven’t seen your cousin in 10 years and they’re all grown up
“Istra God bless kemm żviluppa malajr…”
2. When you finally get your colleague to spill the beans on that #OfficeGossip
“Wait, Chris said what about Clara?!”
3. When the country’s new gender quota regulations suddenly make you a member of Parliament
50% emotionally overwhelmed, 50% not actually ready for this. Thanks?
4. When you’re invited to a friend’s BBQ, but so is your ex, so you both spend the whole night sitting across each other like
You thought you had found that one person in Malta who didn’t know the same exact people you did? You thought wrong.
5. When you arrive at a pastizzerija and they would’ve just taken out a fresh batch of pastizzi
“Attenti għax għadhom jikwu ħabib!”
6. When you and your mates are all waiting for that one friend who’s always late
“Sorry guys balla fucking traffic istra”
7. When that friend finally arrives and you decide to jokingly rough them up a little bit
“Ejja l’hawn annimal”
8. When you and your friend are only an hour into a long night in Paceville and someone buys another tray of Tequila
“Down it guys, wara hawnhekk Havana!”